King Billy

Be careful mentioning small child There was a massive epidemic of grassing last night by the “I’m absolutely outraged. Somebody report this person immediately” collective. But it seems that they have all logged on to Jehovahs witnesses . com tonight or become the new Amish’s

I can’t reach mine. My lower back isn’t up to it

I long for the days when I could drive my 3 wheeled light blue spastic car ( with tiller steering) right down to the side of the pitch on cup final day and soak up the atmosphere , the heavy leather ball bouncing off my pvc safety windscreen and then drink 25 pints of Stella before driving back to the institution smiling merrily. Nowadays it all “Oi get that fucking hairdryer outta the fucking way you fucking crippled thalidomide Cunt “ I just watch the great British bake off now and leave the beast in the garage

Polishing their helmets and admiring each others rear mudflaps

Maggies apparently was bigger than that. It’s rumoured she could stand 12 budgies on her erect member but the last one had to stand on 1 leg

Thank you very much my good crustacean friend. As a newcomer to this place I am getting to know who it’s possiple to have a laugh and a bit of banter with, and who the pretentious, up their own worn out, beaten up, shredded, arses are. You seem to play the game in a similar way to myself but it seems that some of the other participants are a bunch of Cuntoids who might be better suited to grinder or plenty of dick or some other arsewipe site

I would mount young Carol Thatcher, but only for charity mate

Hopefully Wizard and punkape Synchronised dying

So did Maggie Thatcher. Are you Dennis?

I went to buy a kangaroo once but when I got it home it turned out I’d bought a greyhound having a shite

I almost swam the Atlantic. You mean you found a seat and settled in for the evening with your 13 identical relatives

Yes and small businesses are the backbone of this great country

What I get up to in my spare room is a very strange business

If you were to connect both his thumbs to the mains supply it could be established without any doubt how good a conductor he is

I have a suspicion that the cost of the phone call is way more than the normal rate to gaze on the poor girls non existent 28A pimples. A better idea might be to pull ones own buttocks apart while leering at ones own gaping hole with the aid of 2 carefully placed mirrors

Multicuntism

I don’t think they want any sperm

Sir Trevor McDonald can do a series on death row prisoners interviewing them before the car tyres are lit

Every summer I catch as many flies as I can and mid December I post them over to Africa. I know it’s only a drop in the ocean and I don’t expect I’ll ever get a knighthood like fucking Geldof but it’s not about me . Just as long as I can do my bit for their Christmas dinner.If only everyone could think the same. Then we wouldn’t have to put up with all this Red Nose bollocks.

So did The Bishop

He couldn’t hold my dick while I’m having a piss He’s a Grade A Cunt

You didn’t mention his raison d’etre ‘ Cuntus Giganticus’ syndrome without which he would just be another cunt on the corner

David Lammy MP is showing signs of advanced malnutrition, severely swollen abdomen, massively enlarged head and nonsensical gibberish mixed with equal part bullshit spewing from the sinkhole between his puffed up, holier than thou cheeks. Maybe he should fuck off to Africa and try out the “Eat as many flies as you like “ diet, followed by a 5 mile trek to the sewage filled river with a fucking bucket on his mongoloid head, to fetch a nice drink. Then he can explain why there will be no more aid from Britain because it’s racist, to the friendly oppressed natives who will be so grateful to him for his genius intervention, they will no doubt eat the fat sanctimonious little fucker.

‘Bertie’, You really are ‘super’but you should have a long hard look in the long ‘grass’. Kind regards, and don’t forget to go fuck yourself.

Fuckin snowflake homo cunts