King Billy

Stephen Bun’ting’

James Spade Spook Humphries

Michael Spliff.

Diana’s funeral surely?

Run out of crayons?

Dunno. The one I tried had a picture of a Dalmatian on the can. I didn’t like it at all and tbh my dog wouldn’t even go near it until I smeared it all aver my arsehole and shouted ‘good boy’.

It’s not as black and white as that

I’ve tried that Prime. Fucking horrible, reminded me of Pedigree Chum. Luckily I only paid £1.49p for a large can and the dog finished off the rest of it that I didn’t eat.

Women love being abused by men. They never mention that fact when they’re whining on about whatever the fuck they keep whining on about after everyone’s got bored and stopped listening.

I never go out after dark without a bottle of Gaviscon in my pocket, in case I bump into one of my exes and feel threatened. A packet of carefully aimed Rennies are very useful too if a crowd of ‘have a go heroes’ try to interfere and block my escape.

Eric Bisto lol.

Fuck off.

Good to have you back. I’m sure Abdul down at the offie said exactly the same thing yesterday.

Who’s the best black darts player ever iyo?

I’d love to say ‘Yes Ed I know what you mean’ but I’d ne lying as I’m living the dream and far too busy to care, much as I’d like to.

I accidentally stumbled across it on the dark web, while trying to order a Mc’Donalds delivery on Christmas Day (the very first and only time I’ve been on there). Luckily for me, what I saw was so fucking horrific that I now only browse sites that are approved by BBC Verify etc. I count myself very fortunate that I didn’t get sucked down one of those ‘rabbit holes’ that some idiots (or thicko’s as she labels us) fall into. Thank fuck we have her to look after us.

Ed. If I’d thought you would ever talk to me in such a disrespectful way, I’d have picked my own fucking cotton.

Don’t you think Hampstead and Highgate have got enough on their plate with Frank mincing around in his Wembley market, counterfeit, designer label loafers and (genuine LGBTQ+) rainbow shorts during daylight hours, then lurking around in dark alleyways after sunset, desperately looking for anyone willing (desperate enough) to talk to him?

The fucking rat arrived in the U.K. in 2016 underneath a lorry and claimed asylum, which was rejected twice. Third time lucky though (even though he’d acquired a criminal record by then). The state funded national broadcaster BBC (with their usual impartialness) failed to mention the fact that he’d failed twice for around five minutes, then slipping that fact in quietly (to keep Ofcom happy) just before some so MSM talking head started waffling on about the suspects right to still be granted asylum even with criminal convictions acquired during the process. Fucking BBC scum cunts. I actually think they’re so fucking up their own woke arseholes that they don’t even understand why millions of people in this country fucking despise them.

Ah…..the good old days before ToysRus went skint?

Donald Trump should kick the shit out of De Niro, the fat little pasta faced has been wap cunt, and then nuke Italy on day one in the Oval Office in 2025.

Graphene laced mRNA jab (activated by 5G from ‘The Bill and Melinda Gates’ underground control centre by Klaus Schwab with a large white cat on his knee).

He’s put her on the game I reckon. If he’d talked to me before doing it I’d have told him he’ll be lucky if it doesn’t cost more in petrol than her potential best estimate earnings just to drop the fat ugly ginger cunt off at Skid Row, never mind driving back to pick her up the next morning when she’s full up.

You’ve obviously never been to one of Ape’s dinner parties.

Would you like me to shite in your mouth?