King Billy

I’m staying in.

Out of likes Eric. Pure quality though.

‘DONALD J TRUMP. The movie’.

Come on Stubbs. We’re never going to do that. Not me anyway. FFS?

Are you sure you’re Eric? I’ve been drinking lots of Mateus Rose in Gran Canaria today and it may have affected everyone else’s judgement. I think DC is definitely still gay though.

Eddie is starting to show his age.

I’m bewildered. Is that better or worse than baffled? Fuck off confused. This is a private debate.

The Islamic version of ‘granny sex’

I think DC might be gay Eric. Don’t let anyone else know. He’s been very tight with the likes recently, which as we both know is a sure sign of terminal gayness unfortunately. I’m praying for him. 3 or 4 each would definitely set my mind at rest.

I caught a quick eyeful as I was passing the gents toilets DC. You certainly appeared to be ‘shoving’ something up the dusky chaps rear end. Looked more like Ainsley Harriet than Snoop tbh.

It would be ok if it lived in a lighthouse or a windmill probably. By ‘lived’ I obviously mean bled to death in a few minutes.

What goes ‘Ha ha….bonk’? Someone laughing their head off. lol.

’Just be careful Erics Luger doesn’t go off prematurely in your face’ is the soundest advice I can think for Vicious Bastard at the moment Stubbers. But I’m sure Eric has everything under control tbh. He knows where the safety catch is.

Was that you this afternoon DC? Don’t even think about asking ‘Where?’ You must have seen me driving past the bar in my imaginary metallic blue M4, while you were slobbering all over Angela Raynor and Cherie Blair. I know it was happy hour but ffs?

Fuck off you boring boring boring cunt. And then fuck off again.

Have you tried putting some credit on your electric meter CBB? Apparently most off licences have a thingy next to the till which they can use for this purpose. Some can even add the transaction to any random, and obviously unplanned impulse purchase, of say 20 two litre bottles of cider and 60 fake Marlboro lites from China. It might be worth a try, but only if you were planning to head down there anyway.

This one?

Good enough for me. I’ve never been one for all that ‘evidence’ malarkey. Defeats the whole point of stitching some cunt up, the good old fashioned way. Proper.

Did someone say ‘Yer Man’?

Thank fuck you mentioned that he’s a flanker, thereby immediately ruling out Danny Cipriani, the completely respectable flyhalf/fullback, who’s been plastered all over the tabloids for years now, acting the complete cunt, refusing to get a round in, and crawling out of top celebrity nightclubs with you, keks oozing shite from every exit.

What a strange little corner of the internet we’ve found ourselves lurking around in Decs, when the slightest insinuation of noncery, even in jest, warrants the threat of a certain moderator donning the black cap, but allegations of anal carnage towards ‘man’s best friend’ doesn’t warrant even a caution or a clip round the ear from the local Bobby? Lol.

I’ve got a photo of my grandad on a train from the 1920s, and there’s a freaky looking ticket collector in the background who looks uncannily like the chap in the bottom right of this photographic masterpiece. Probably just one of those unexplainable weird BR things that only Pen could throw some light on, if it wasn’t flat out boring every cunt on here to death, pretending to be a female.

Reported for mysoginy or sonething. Possibly.