King Billy

Just got back home from a short trip down the High St for a few items which we’ve been running low on recently. Twenty minutes in Waitrose attempting to get the fucking obese, purple haired, boil faced, BO emitting munter on the till to understand that I wanted Chicken Kievs, not Chicken Keeeevs which the fat cunt insisted I call them. I wanted to kick the slug faced slag right in the cunt, but I feared I might never see my foot again if I did. Fuck Ukraine.

😂😂😂

I’m glad someone else has spotted them. I thought it was just me who was onto them.🤣

Death by paperclip.

Hugh Grants (fuckwit extraordinaire) sloppy seconds’. She’s obviously not too discerning when choosing her next ‘flange filler’. A decent looking bit of cunt admittedly, but been around the clock quite a few times, so her undercarriage is likely to be as clapped out as the motors on Arthur Daleys car lot.

Twiggy Starburst and the spiders in his arse.

I won’t even give this slanderous and ridiculous character assassination the justification of a denial. Firstly because it’s a work in progress, and secondly because there’s no k in Bacofoil™️.

No one has spotted the obvious (to me) common denominator here Raaas. Batflu….. Cricket bat. Let’s see how all the cunts who’ve called me a tinfoil hat blah, blah, blah weirdo explain this.

More likely to wake up shivering, surrounded by Iceland £1 microwave meals for one, and the remains of Ming grinning at you like a mummified frozen Siamese cat.

The whole thing’s got me stumped I have to admit.

Careful now Frank. Making ridiculous threats like this will only kill your latest pathetic comeback attempt before anyones had a chance to laugh at it properly. If you’re going to threaten physical violence at least try something which doesn’t involve the anorexic twiglets rattling about in your 14” waist skinny jeans. You’ve really let yourself down this time.

3 grams, 4x100mg viagra and 12 double JDs (or 22 pints of strong lager) is the widely accepted safe limit before commencing a marathon sex orgy involving multiple prozzies (maximum 6). I suspect Mr Warne either exceeded these limits, or as you say the ‘Ouchi Fauchi’ totally safe experimental medical procedure will have been the cause of his misfortune. There has been nothing so far reported as to whether he was wearing a mask when he keeled over. 😷 Mmm!

He’s probably just lying to his wife and kids and everyone else to make himself look hard.

Shane Warne definitely did not die of any Covid vaccination related cause. Maybe.

It’s only 20p extra on a 2 litre bottle of White Lightning. Around £10 a day more than your pre Putin budget.

And his brother’s a poor mans Harvey Price. The 2 reasons I don’t watch F1 or Loose Wimmen any more. Maybe I should just focus on the meat and ignore the 2 vegetables.

He put the fear of god into Vlad the Invader a few years ago when he told Russia to ‘go away and shut up’. This knighthood might be the thing that turns the tide in Ukraine and makes Putin instantly shit his pants and scurry off back to the Kremlin screaming Heeelp!!!

Nice to see Lewis Hamilton wearing male clothing for a change. Shame he’s not on fire though.

Different floor at the Holiday Inn and different drawer in the Home Office filing cabinet. Same preferential treatment for council housing and benefits entitlement though.

Speak to Ape for advice on anything mask related. He’ll be under the bed or behind the couch.

Conspiracy theorist tinfoil hat weirdo. I was about to say all that. 👍

I’ve been hearing a few details about this story today. I can’t confirm them yet so I’ll just at the moment quote them as ‘99.9% reliable’. The word on the street is that Mr Warne had fallen upon hard times, and nearing the end of a particularly busy 18 hour shift at Bangkoks premier ‘gogo bar’ collapsed on stage attempting to launch a particularly stubborn ping pong ball from his ginger arsehole into the crowd of elderly foreign sex tourists. The first sign of anything wrong was his head swelling to five times it’s normal size and his totally realistic hair transplants bursting into flames, followed by a cry of ‘bloody Nora mate’ then a barrage of beer bottles launched at his twitching corpse by the angry audience. That’s all I know at the moment. It’s still a very fast moving story.

Forget it. I have. No need to apologise again.

Ahaaa! Now it’s starting to make sense. 🤭

Accepted (again)