King Billy

You’ve spelled Keith Floyd wrong. Just saying.

The row of bodies outside would be a lot paler than any of the trout lipped, monobrowed, stiletto heeled slags tottering out of the tanning salon next door.

Good evening RK. Anything interesting been happening around here? I’ve had a couple of friends over from the province staying for a few days. And it was The Donalds birthday the other day too, so I thought I’d give the ginger nuisance a couple of days off and get absolutely wankered. I assume she’s still a pile of repulsive steaming shit though?

Your better looking twin keeled over and called it a day this week. Do the right thing and fucking join her you boring repulsive fucking vagabot. R.I.P. Hilary DeVey.

CCTV cameras outside the local girls primary school?

Pity you didn’t meet Myra and Ian instead.

Fucking thick Google cunts. All those billions and they can’t even spell rimming right. The answer’s yes anyway.

Very true, but don’t ever repeat the term ‘dark web’ please. There’s no place for such a blatant racist trope on here. I just hope Eric hasn’t seen it. You know how furious he gets at the slightest hint of racism.

‘Where’s me washboard?’

I wish I had a pound for every customer who said that after I’ve sold a tree to them RK. (excluding the cunts who were being sarcastic and shaking their heads). They can keep their quids and fuck right off. Cunts.

Not my style.

😘

And plastic bags full of shit.

Panzybubba it’s time we buried the hatchet. I’ve realised that you’ve been right all along. All this sectarian BS that I thought was important for all these years is yesterdays news. It’s the fucking Shia cunts that we should be focusing all our bigotry on nowadays, that’s assuming you’re one of us Sunnis of course. See you Friday at the Mosque brother. CHUCKY ALLAH BABY

Very true RK. Even a malnourished slave with no skin left on his back, or a clapped out old whore with a worn out fanny always found a buyer at the ‘sold as seen’ auction.

I think he bought his dog from them.

Stole the wheels off his open top Mercedes and fucked off with all the materials money and Eva’s handbag, halfway through tarmaccing the driveway at the Wolfslair.

Exactly. Always putting his loved ones before himself. If he’d shaved off the mad looking moustache and promised to try not to do all the bad stuff again, he’d probably have turned out to be an allright sort of bloke.

‘Chamoisman’ Robin Askwith played him in the original film.

Than what? A gerbil?, a bin lorry?, a fucking Big Mac? Sort this shit out you cunt.

The Nazis are being welcomed back into the fold, by the political left at least. After 70 or 80 years of well earned vilification, it seems that Adolph wasn’t such a bad guy after all, compared to the one and only Donald J Trump (the actual spawn of the Devil). Alexandra Ocasio Cortez, arguably the cleverest human being ever, posted on Twitter that Trump was worse than Hitler. She qualified this statement, in case anyone doubted it by pointing out that Hitler had a dog. The post was almost immediately removed by her, and is no doubt now being erased from history, by the Twitter big wigs who absolutely don’t buy Wayfair wardrobes online, and fuck any little kids, before sacrificing them and drinking their blood, who happen to be tied up inside them when they’re delivered. That would be ridiculous.

‘Insubordinance’ Looks like it might soon be just another of the ever increasing list of things I was ahead of the game on while you were playing catch up, strutting around in your big Bridget Jones knickers.

He wouldn’t be seen dead in Cape Verde if that’s any help.

I’ve given you a like too for this Eric. I’m not letting Pen do all the heavy lifting on his own. He’s got enough to carry around in his big Victorian manpants.