King Billy

You’ve still not answered my question about the legislation which will shortly criminalise you for having an opinion about anything ever in history. Is this the Free State you’ve all dreamed of while sat around in the pub getting pissed and singing along to some cunt playing the fiddle for a hundred years now? All you have to do is say sorry and ask us to come back. I’m sure we might be able to come to some agreement.

I’ll leave that to your imagination.

It’s not as Black and White as that. They’re very Dangerous and have a History of very Bad behaviour.

Planes, trains, automobiles….who cares? I wouldn’t be seen dead on any of them as I’ve got an imaginary M4. Fuck off.

I’m going to pretend you never said that DC as your phone has obviously been taken over by some sort of AI bot. As you were.

Apart from winding you up like a clockwork Mr. Potato Head?

King Harold’s last words according to an unnamed source.

They were probably worried the plane might neverland.

It’s gone to the dogs since the King Rat glory days. But at least he had a good lunch and wasn’t covered in his own shit when he unexpectedly passed away in Long Kesh.

I’ve no IKEA.

Roops and I have always got along like a house on fire, and even on the very rare occasions that we’ve disagreed on some minor issue she’s apologised once I’ve explained things to her and corrected her wrongthink.

You’re in big big trouble now. If you’ve got an ‘off grid’ holiday shack in the deepest outback I suggest you jump in the ute ASAP and lie low for a couple of months till her blood pressure gets back to normal. I’ll call her a cunt and try to distract her till you’re gone.

Kick the Pope

Sam Smith.

The only indecent images Pen has on his phone are selfies.

I don’t want to pick fault with your totally accurate observation, except to ask why you lot didn’t notice all this almost a century ago?

As you’ve brought the subject up Panzy, what are your thoughts on Ireland’s ‘Criminal justice incitement of violence or hatred and hate offences Bill 2022’ which is about to become law in your ‘Free State’? By the end of this year you will be committing a criminal offence, punishable by imprisonment according to a statement by your Justice Ministry last week for ‘condoning, denying or generally trivialising ….genocide, war crimes, crimes against humanity and crimes against peace. This will not apply to any particular period in history but will cover any crime against peace in the past’. Welcome to the ‘Free State’ comrades, but careful what you say now. The Guards are listening. lol lol lol.

Just be thankful that anyone even gives a fuck that you exist and shut up.

Lurgan is the uncivilised half of the dystopian Metropolis known as Craigavon. I was born in Portadown, which is the other half of Craigavon. Tbh I’m shocked that anyone from Lurgan has reached the ripe old age of 34. I hope I don’t live that long.

If any of you had a brain (I know), you’d have noticed that their toilets were inside their big houses and not in a filthy wooden shed at the bottom of the garden next to the rows of turnips and rotting spuds.

Tut Tut.

None of them can remember that now. They’ve all been living here far too long.

Unless your local off licence sells them you can’t.

Chutney Bridge.

It’s not called ‘The Jungle’ for nothing.