King Billy

I once met her and asked her if she had a light. Cheeky cunt said ‘The names Jonnson not Ronson. Fuck off.’

In a nutshell, Jonnson has had more than her fair share of Johnson. And, now it’s over to someone whose also has more than his share of Johnson it’s Fred Talbot for the latest forecast.

There must be some way we can stop the wind. That’ll fuck them.

Windy Mueller, a well known Nazi if I’m not mistaken.

Her star must look like it’s been shot at close range with a sawn off bazooka. It’s been around the clock a couple of times, and ‘regularly serviced’ doesn’t have the same reassuring context unfortunately. Her ‘service history’ is, sadly for her, very well documented. 27 careful owners, the rest didn’t give a fuck.

Bonn soir Monsieur Bellend.

I learned today that this week is officially ‘REFUGEE WEEK’, a week of celebration for refugees and asylum seekers in the U.K. A top Westminster politician (code for lying twofaced snout in the trough cuntweasel) said today....”This week casts a spotlight on all those who have enriched our communities since arriving in the U.K. looking to rebuild their lives.” ”Thanks to the generosity and support of the British people, thousands of refugees from every part of the world are here, making enormous contributions to our society, culture and economy. We are a better country for it.” ”I am moved hearing the incredible stories of those that have overcome hardship to not just live, but to thrive and call the U.K. their home.” I can’t wait to hear Pritt-stick Patel our patriotic Home Secretaries comments on this, unless she’s far too busy doing what she keeps on telling us is her priority, securing our borders and stemming the torrent of dinghy arrivals which has already this year topped 9000, more than the total for last year already. She’s not going to be having any of this ‘Refugee Week’ bollocks for sure. Hang on, What’s that? It was Ms. Patel who said all that garbage above? I’m sure she must know what she’s doing. She must have a secret plan or something, because otherwise that would make her a bullshitting, traitorous shitcunt. Surely not?

‘Snog, marry or slip one up her wrongun?’ Avoiding the cunt is a certainty after any of the three options anyway. Old fashioned romantics. There’s not many of us left.

The wokesters have gained control of your mind Stubbers. Please don’t tell us you’re a poof or a tranny now too. The cunt must be tortured. It’s the rules.

Wouldn’t look out of place hanging in the window of a halal butchers shop.

Horribly tortured first. Horrible for him obviously, great fun for everyone else. Swings and roundabouts.

At a guess Id say he’s just coming up on a half decent pill. In about five to ten minutes he’ll throw up, break into a silly grin and start waving a glow stick around in the air. The Jim’ll Fix it medal isn't a good look though.

My first wife who was deaf planned to leave me for another man, but couldn’t hear the cunt honking his horn outside our house. He ended up marrying our next door neighbour and she only went out to tell him to fuck off and keep the noise down.

OR HATE.

She looks like she’s got a lovely personality though. Fucking cloth eared fat cunt. BE KIND.

To stop you using it.

BREAKING FAKE NEWS (a few weeks old) Donald J Trump banned from Facebook for 2 years.(immediately after the 2022 primaries, pure coincidence) And before any of you conspiracy theorists start ranting about leftwing liberal censoring, the sentence was passed by the non partisan failed U.K. politician now arbitrating truth and lies on the Zuckerberg gravy train called Nick Clegg.

And they called it Puppy Love.

Those glorious ‘pre mask’ days Ape. I’m praying that ten jabs from now in the early 2040s we can all come out from under the bed and book an appointment for a hug.

Who are these four beasts? Just give me a clue and I’ll help you to make sure they never try it again. Fucking animals. # ME TOO.

Because you’re a fucking moron?

I saw Ming today. She was fast asleep in the ‘Oriental Meals’ freezer in Iceland. Frank was lurking behind the BOGOF bin like the filthy balding little skeletal pimp he’s always dreamed of being but never managed to achieve.

John Leslie must be thinking.. Glad I’m not just getting round to her now.

If Pritt-stick Patel was serious about stopping the daily armada of 40 year old children in dinghys all she needs to do is have that photo hologrammed onto the white cliffs of Dover permanently and every dinghy shop in Calais would have a ‘Closing Down’ sign in the window and Air France would be putting on extra flights back to Somalia and Syria to cope with the demand.

Reported for posting Eddies driving licence photo.