King Billy

He’s a ‘private dick’ I reckon.

An interesting idea. I could then live in luxury forever up in the Northern wastelands, on the remainder of the proceeds. I could even cut out the school run and have a lie in every morning, secure in the knowledge that my teenage daughters were in the safe hands of one of the local Bangladeshi taxi companies highly vetted drivers. Eee by gum.

On something.

This time next week you’ll be bigger than Covid 19.

Do you mean Pen?

Tell him you’ll let him help if he gives you some money.

Philip Schofield was my first guess.

Melbourne this week makes Belfast look like fucking Legoland SC. The entire MSM excepting Sky News immediately lying about the construction trade protestors and predictably reeling out their favourite fake news narrative… Far right, antivaxxers, neo nazi infiltrators without a shred of evidence to back it up. Dictator Dans stormtroopers deserve fucking hanging mate. Absolutely shocking what’s going on in Oz, and as usual the fake news fuckpigs over here would rather broadcast a ‘special report’ every show about igloos melting or smog levels in Pakistan etc. etc. etc. Hope your’e OK though mate.

The cunt who reads the gas meters in my street recently got threatened I’ve been told. Someone else told me he hadn’t. I don’t know if this is related to the current gas crisis situation. I doubt it.

Poofs.

You forgot the trannies, poofs, lezzers, fat cunts and fuckers with club feet,hare lips or stammers. Up your game DC.

‘As if by magic, the ticket collector appeared.’ Mr. Pen. 2021©️

I like Tu, it's decent quality and I have several items Two?

I’d love to lugs but as I’ve lived in or around London for 30 odd years there’s no way I’m moving back to Belfast just so I can then move to England unless you can give me a fairly good reason. That’s not a no by the way it’s a maybe.

Do you and this George fellow swap trousers in Asda often? Oh and if so, where in Asda and why?

Allright lads?

Oh dear.

Groomer.

Yeah I did already get that. I’m actually 27, 6’ 4” and extremely good looking. But no one ever mentions any of that. It’s always ‘look at that fucking thicko’. Cheers Mrs Roops.

I’m impressed you remember that.

Again?

No it’s definitely shit.

Vorderman?

Nice one Ape. Pretty much right on target and would have been faultless if only you hadn’t fucked up the spelling 3 letters in. Aside from that 👍

Are you sure you’re not Dianne Abbots son? Just asking.