King Billy

Bill Gates recently said on twatter that ‘2021 has been a very challenging year for many people, including me.’ Forbes Worlds billionaires rich list shows just how challenging 2021 has been for Sir Billiam of Gates 2017 net worth….$86b 2018 net worth….$90b 2019 net worth….$96.5b 2020 net worth….$98b 2021 net worth….$124b Mmmm?

I went to visit family over Christmas. I had a very enjoyable time. My grown up children had a good time too. How was your Christmas alone?

Got back from NI on Tuesday, woke up yesterday with a splitting headache, aching muscles and no energy. Been feverish off and on but starting to feel better in the last hour or two. Hopefully it’s the batflu. I’m not getting tested but some of my friends who’ve tested positive recently tell me the symptoms are exactly what they experienced. More likely a 24 hour bug imo, but those don’t seem to exist anymore, just like flu and the common cold strangely. Fuck off.

I’ve never understood cunts who fuck off halfway across the world to take selfies infront of the local ruins. Jaywick or Sunderland can trump any of that shit, and the locals speak a primitive form of English (except on giro day).

Ape. I’m posting this from a ventilator in the ICU at the Royal Free hospital in London. I’m the only cunt in here not wearing a mask and I’ve fucked 4 nurses, 3 cleaners and the bird who brings the grub. All the other wheezy jabbed up cunts in here look like they’ll be pushing up the daisies before the new year. Fucking mask wankers. Gay as fuck.

Good evening/morning Your Majesty. I’m not sure if you’re aware of the ridiculous developments that some of the peasants have been duped into believing, that I’ve become some sort of elitist, conspiracy theorist, weirdo and ‘vaccine refusenik’ whatever that could mean? As you well know, all my corgis have been jabbed, second dosed and boosted and some of them are still showing some slight signs of life, unlike young Harry Hewitt my favourite grandson, who is alas still being held captive in that dreadful shithole California. I trust you and Her Majesty are well. I would welcome your Regal advice regarding a troublesome flame haired old hag who’s been coming across a bit too big for her rusty old growler of late. Your majestic ruler KB

Eddie happens to be a ‘highly valued’ friend of mine and stereotyping him like that is not only extremely offensive but totally inaccurate. One of those criticisms is false, the second one isn’t. And by ‘highly valued’ I mean that I turned down an offer of 500 Guineas for him at the last auction.

That would be a dendrological matter now Father.

I feel I may have made an awful schoolboy error by including (all figures approx). I fully expect a long and detailed post pointing out the exact distances to the nearest nanometre and full GPS tracking logs of my imaginary M4 since I wound up my annual and totally unprofitable dead tree fiasco 2 Saturdays ago. If she delivers all that I’ll eat my bowler hat and it’s tinfoil lining, and ask for her hairy calloused hand in marriage. She’s taking stalking to a new level so I might as well admit defeat and spend the rest of my miserable life in subservient bliss.

I’m not absolutely certain DC but I think Roops has really fallen hook line and sinker for me. I hope Eddie doesn’t blame me for this totally predictable turn of events and do anything stupid, just like everything else he’s ever done. But I can only hope. He’s a mate after all and I value our friendship. Do you think if I just dry plunged her in the arse and then denied ever knowing her, it would be a bit less cuntish going forward into the new year?

Perhaps you’d like to debunk my tale that I travelled to NI via Dublin for Christmas with some of this data that you love to boast about having instant access to, regarding members whereabouts? And as for your pathetic jibe the other day about me being so thick that I couldn’t work out a direct route to NI, it just confirms (as if any proof was needed) your astounding stupidity and failure to think before sticking your size 12 into other peoples conversations. The Holyhead to Dublin crossing takes 3 hours 15 mins. Liverpool to Belfast 9 hours plus and Stranraer to Belfast although only 2 and a half hours or so is a hundred and forty miles more of a drive than Holyhead for me (all figures approx). If your ‘all seeing all knowing’ capabilities aren’t just another sad invention in your constant attempt to conceal your patently obvious inferiority complex, then you have my permission to say where in NI I was over the Xmas holiday. If you need a clue it wasn’t Belfast. Ive never said I come from Belfast you presumptuous bore. And you have no idea where or why I might stop off en route to my final destination. So let’s all see what you know and what’s just the usual egomaniacal arse gravy you’re famous for posting. Chop chop. There’s a good girl.

🎶 If you go down to the woods today You’re in for a big surprise If you go down to the woods today You will not believe your eyes 👀 If fanny’s your thing you won’t see a thing But if you’re looking for cock you’re in for a shock Cos today’s the day Penelope gets her knob out 🎶

Boring ‘big bamboo’ fucking hagster cunt.

I think you mean pneumatic sex-dog don’t you DC? Your dyslexia playing up again?

I took a drive through Dublin City centre when I got off the ferry last week. Usually I take the tunnel from the port which leads straight onto the motorway to NI, but as it’s been 2 years since my last visit I was curious to see if anything had changed. As I suspected, nothing had. Wild eyed, mental looking cunts with hair like Phil Spectre, lurking in piss filled doorways. Wart faced old hags with moustaches and filthy vile looking kids peering out of their pockets, begging at every traffic junction. No sign of Panzyboy but the rest of his family, who I’ve just described were enough to make me risk a speeding fine to get the fuck onto the motorway pronto.

You’ve misspelled Timex. Should’ve just typed ‘Mickey Mouse’.

Don’t be fucking ridiculous.

Load of shit.

In between Ann Widdecombe and Ruth Bader Ginsburg?

I guess the dishes and housework have been put on hold till later. It’s all about prioritising DC. Bread and butter for the big shots who keep the cogs turning, but way too difficult for the likes of us to even try to comprehend. We’re fucked allright. I hope you don’t mind if I blame you for everything?

Don’t spend the whole of your Christmas holiday digging an ever deeper hole. Your time off is way too ‘precious’ to waste.

Shortcut through the Panama Canal and then South up the west coast of Luxembourg, not an iceberg or a Somalian pirate in sight. Absolutely marvellous.

Pay attention you silly girl. ‘into Dublin 05.30’ (PLFs all completed before boarding, and proof of imaginary negative PCR tests ready for disembarkation). Enjoy yourself this Christmas for once. You’re not getting any younger so don’t waste any more of your ‘precious’ time making an even bigger fool of yourself. 🎄

Oh God no! That sporran is covering up something that no one ever deserves to see. No one.

Only the start 😂