King Billy

None out of three ain’t bad.

You bitter remaoner old cunt.

Reported.

I wasn’t on the bus.

Comma gain?

That’ll either be lack of oxygen due to your mask or the toxic fumes which are clearly warned about on all tins of propellor paint.

Ape’s been arrested in Tesco’s today after apparently attempting to purchase a large quantity of value beans while wearing a mask. After a long standoff armed police stormed the shop and surrounded the beans aisle before tazering him and forcibly ripping off his mask. The police have said that he remains in custody and will be released as soon as he’s finished painting the propellor tips on their helicopter.

So the MSM after two years of pushing Covid 19 fear down the throats of all the masked up lemmings are rapidly moving towards their exit strategy so they can at least appear to be on the right side of history and the fucking moronic fools who’ve believed all their false narrative without questioning a single word for two years will still not wake up to the fact that the Government and their scientific and medical overlords have lied non stop and those lies have knowingly been pushed out to the public by the fake news media. The fakestream media who’ve accepted tens of millions of pounds from the government to run ‘Public Health’ ads scaring the sheeple out of their wits and ruining millions of lives and businesses for ever. The Telegraphs science editor Sarah Knapton wrote yesterday ‘Scrap the unreliable daily Covid updates before people become addicted to them, say experts.’ That’s just one of many similar headlines which have all of a sudden started appearing in the last few days. Two years too fucking late you cunts. You’re not slipping out of being held to account for your actions that easily. Why weren’t any of you questioning any of Whitty and SAGEs nonsense while they through their puppet Johnson were destroying our country with their obvious (to some of us) bullshit predictions and taking away our freedom? The games up when even GMBs Dr Shillary, ITVs fearmonger in chief who last year actually said that anyone swimming in the sea should wear a mask, now says that the NHS vaccine mandate should be scrapped. Ideally all the MSM collaborators would be strung up from a lamp post outside their place of employment and left to swing in the wind as a warning to whoever replaces them that journalism isn’t rocket science or brain surgery. The only skill required is to tell the truth. Dan Walker is an absolute cunt.

It’s easy to mock a loser like George, who Pele said was the best footballer he’d ever seen, and is regarded as the first superstar celebrity footballer, notching up three Miss Worlds and some of the best looking actresses and models ever on his bedpost. Right up until his death he would be in The Worlds End pub on the Kings Road in Chelsea every day and spent most of his time signing autographs and shaking hands with the never ending stream of people who came in just for the chance to meet him. Anyway my taxi is outside Stubbs. The office couldn’t give me a price on the phone to take me to the ‘Stubby Pecker International Airport’. The bloke said he’d never fucking heard of it and asked me if I was drunk?

Sorry. I spelled goat wrong.

The best sex I’ve ever had was with a ghost.

In those now distant times comics like Bob Monkhouse and Jim Davidson could still front prime time TV shows and have a completely separate ‘stand up’ career where they could be as unPC and offensive as fuck to just about anyone they chose. Nowadays the ‘skinny jean, spiky hair, ten year old sneakers wearing cunts who masquerade as comedians and pollute the airwaves 24/7, eagerly lapped up by the fucking millennial mongs would die of shame if they accidentally offended anyone regarded as being in a minority or other perceived ‘oppressed’ or underprivileged’ group, because that would a hate crime obviously and their career would be over faster than Djokovics Australian Open defence. Those rules don’t apply to what these skeletal ‘soy boy’ wankers or ‘lard arse’ lezzer slags say about anyone on the right hand side of the political divide. There’s nothing they can’t say on that score to get the leftie pink haired butt ugly brigade roaring.

Laughing (English)

I saw Bob Monkhouse at Highbury Barn a long time ago and the last hour of his show when he reeled off jokes on whatever topic random people in the audience suggested was seriously impressive. He was one of the filthiest comedians I’ve seen too. Top man.

Just tuned in to BBC Question Time and remembered why I don’t watch this pile of leftwing shite anymore. The audience at St.Andrews sitting at least 4 seats apart, mask wankers every one of them, obediently lowering their face nappies to ask a question which they already know the answer to, and then quickly pulling it back up over their gargoyle faces. Fucking grade A pig ugly sheep cunts sitting on their fat lardy Jock arseholes faking outrage and moral superiority when anyone can see they are hand picked wankers with the same political views as the host Fiona Bruce who should fuck off back to the Antiques Roadshow and get herself appraised alongside the assorted Chippendale furniture, ancient relics and all the other shite and useless tat that no cunt wants to buy at the local car boot sale or charity shop.

In a few years if the parole board decide you’re not a danger to the public and allow you out on day release you could maybe hide in a bush outside her office and bash one out. Never give up on your dreams.

I’ve heard that George Best turned down Drew’s liver.

My second wife started regularly staying out till 2 or 3 in the morning and some of my mates told me they’d seen her in various local pubs late at night. It was only after I divorced her I discovered she’d been out looking for me.

Ring me when you’re outside and I’ll come out and shoot her Ed. That’s what mates are for.

Ed I value our friendship and I just hope you will never let a fat ginger Welsh hag spoil it.

Attach one to your 5 litre bottle of Diamond White in case you misplace it on the 3 min lurch from the offie to your bungalow. ‘hic’

🇬🇧NO SURRENDER 🇬🇧 Fucking fenians.

Ed. Has Roops said anything about me recently? I want you to know that I haven’t encouraged her mad infatuation with me at all. It’s starting to keep me awake at night thinking about her. it’s very worrying. I’d hate to lose you as you’re the only friend I have on here apart from Eric, and DC who’s either dead or gone on a round the world cruise with his A lister celeb mates.

You are Boris Johnson and I claim my £5.

‘What’s that Skippy? The kids have fallen down a mineshaft?’ ’Ttttttttttt’