King Billy

I’ve got my hands full here at the moment. If only I could teach the girls to abuse and take advantage of themselves, instead of me and the endless queue of bearded, flying carpet pilots that I apparently enable, I might one day be able to take you up on your offer. G’day mate.

Blenders are part of the ‘internet of things’ nowadays. I’m not about to have one in the house spying on me for Bill Gates and Zuckerberg.

Fact-check….. correct.

They all seem to live quite near to the Fray Bentos (halal) factory. I’m not sure if that’s just a coincidence.

Eddie. His nearest neighbour lives 700 miles away and he’s not even a friend. Social distancing gone mad. He does wear a mask at all times though, just to be safe and to make sure the local hospital doesn’t become overwhelmed. It’s 1200 miles away and closed down in 1967.

The MSM don’t show any of this in their Australian Open reporting. SCOMO and Dictator Dan etc. should be quizzed about this shocking state of affairs in 21st century Melbourne. I guess they would all attempt to take the credit for this sudden increase in Aussie living standards though.

Poodles have black feet. I’m eating one now. Hard to chew tbh. Should have kept them in the freezer till I get back from Budapest with my new Rylans fitted. Fucking 2 years and change like an Irish Popeye. Fucking Covid bullshit.

Excellent Smithers

The Met have been getting a lot of unfair criticism in recent times. It’s clear to anyone who takes the time to look closely, that they’re working flat out 24/7 protecting the public from hate speech on social media (excluding anti British, anti Christian, pro family speech) which is fine.. The far right knuckle dragging extremists, psycho motorists in cycle lanes, TV licence evaders, ravers in 10 Downing St etc. etc. have been identified by Caressa Dicks crack law enforcers as the No 1 cause of the imminent collapse of law and order, in the capital city of what used to be Great Britain. So next time you pop down to the 24 hour garage for a packet of fags, and end up bleeding to death on the pavement with your intestines around your neck, and a gang of barely literate 14 year old duskies ripping your watch off and laughing at your last years trainers, just be thankful that the filth hadn’t already been round, smashed your door in and found all that disgusting hate speech on your laptop yet. Your missus can blame it all on you and probably get away with it for now. The Met police policy nowadays is to apparently investigate everything except actual crime.

Everyone got free dinners in Auschwitz. Small portions admittedly, but conveniently very rarely acknowledged by the anti Nazi hate mob.

Grow up Eddie. You’re bigger than that comment.

Come on man. If that was true then the photo my mate showed me on his phone of the Loch Ness monster, which he almost caught, but just got away, couldn't be real either. So where did all the paraletic, rage filled, ginger topped begging cunts outside Kings Cross station come from then? They exactly match the description of Jocks in my Encyclopedia Brittanica.

The dwarf who didn’t go to school? Not big not clever.

Baws. What do you think of Chairwoman McKrankies bill to make all the Covid emergency powers permanent in nicky nacky nooland? This fucking power mad little dwarf is surely having a laugh. Isn’t she?

I agree Gypps. In fact I reckon if your lot constructed a ‘wailing driveway’ where ‘as you likies’ could shout and wail and kiss the tarmac, it would definitely end up in a mass brawl, with the owners of the house being robbed and hundreds of poop bags in the neighbours garden. Probably not even a mention of the Pikeycaust in the local paper.

Come on man. Neil Young… 6 million hits per month on Spotify. Joe Rogan 300 million per month on Spotify. Get yourself one of those smartphone thingies and a couple of top up vouchers from the Spar shop. Just be aware that the interweb is a dangerous place for newbies at first. Some of the things you’ll see may not be 100% factual. Roops will keep you updated on what you’re permitted to believe, so you can’t go wrong really. If only I’d had her to educate me before it was too late. Nano Nano.

Peter Crouch?

Peter Pan?

If you can fit me in tomorrow afternoon for a number two and a sack back and crack wax, let me know ASAP. I’ll pass on the bumming though. I can’t risk my ringpiece getting ruined as I’m off out to a party tomorrow night and it’s one of those parties where some of the guests would start pointing and whispering in each other’s ears. XXX Sweetie😘

PM me his address. I’ll take care of it.

Allright Nige?

Eddie we need to talk. I’m fully boosted and we can meet outdoors, triple masked at the usual location. I’ve become increasingly concerned about your anger for a while now. It’s extremely worrying.

You’ve spelled minge a bit wrong

U cunt magazine?

Nice one Martin.