King Billy

I was kind of hoping Pen would get involved in this thread. It usually pokes its appendage into most conversations. I can’t for the life of me work out why it’s giving this one a wide berth. If anybody has any ideas I’d be grateful to hear them. Pen. Where are you?

Travis Perkins. Better than St. Tropez and only 5 minutes off the M25 by Transit.

This young ‘lady’ who is 24 years old and cute as apple pie at 6’4” tall, has been breaking records as part of the University of Pennsylvania’s college swimming team in recent months. ‘She’ beat the second placed female swimmer in the 1650m freestyle race against Harvard in December by a whisker, a mere 38 seconds. In the same event ‘she’ won the 500m free by 12 seconds and the 200 free by 7 seconds, smashing records almost every meeting. 38 of ‘her’ teammates have voiced concerns to their coaches and the University hierarchy about the fairness and the absurdity of the situation, pointing out that while competing as a male ‘she’ was not competitive at all. They have all had to do this anonomously as some of them have been threatened if they dared to object. Not only are ‘her’ teammates unhappy about the fact that they now are competing for runner up in every race ‘she’ is involved in, but also that ‘she’ apparently finds it amusing to parade around in the changing rooms with ‘her’ meat and two veg on view to everyone. ‘She’ also likes it to be known that she’s sexually attracted to women (who’d have guessed?) In her defence I have to point out that a couple of weeks ago she was soundly beaten by a ‘male’ swimmer Isaac Henig, who used to be a woman, a result seized upon by her woke defenders who argued that was proof that ‘she’ had no physical advantage over real females, conveniently ignoring the ridiculously slow time which Thomas swam in the race. Now Im not an expert in these complicated issues of the 21st century, but I can say that the only choice for me if I had to be stranded on a desert island with one of these mentally ill freaks, would be the 6’4” Michael Phelps lookalike with the huge bulge in ‘her’ Speedos, as ‘she’ would be far more likely to swim out and attract the attention of any passing ship before it steamed off into the distance. ‘She’ likes girls anyway so my arsehole might be rescued in a half salvageable state.

He’s still got that to look forward to. He’ll be ‘sorely’ missed, especially by the manufacturers of ‘Anusol’ ointment.

I'll meet you in Lowestoft Is this a long lost episode of Coast?

Punkers has been training furiously for months now, in the hope of regaining the US Open title, which he previously held several times. Not the golf one, but the lesser known US Open fisting tournament, held annually in the Greenwich Village public lavatory. Tom Daley is rumoured to have offered to caddy for him, to make sure he always has the correct fisting butter ‘to hand’ if he gets through to the ‘business end’ of the competition.

Brothers Water Grassmoor? Sweet Bruv.

I’d still give Patsy Kensit one up the wrongun if she came round my gaff and asked me politely, (ideally if the missus was out).

Sorry. I forgot about you. 🇬🇧NO SURRENDER🇬🇧

Fulham, Oldham and Wycombe matches stopped due to medical emergencies in the stands, all within minutes of each other this weekend. One of the fans died. 🤔 Sunderland boss Lee Johnson says “The Covid vaccine could be behind our goalkeeper Lee Burge being diagnosed with an inflamed heart. It seems to be happening a lot after these injections”. But then what would he know? If Mrs Roops and the corners very own Dr Hillary down under hadn’t told me otherwise, I’d be inclined to think something wasn’t right with the Bill Gates/Dr Fauci experimental sauce being irrationally forced on the population of the world, using coercion, shaming and in some countries the criminal law. 💉🐑😷

I thought it was a Northern slow cooker sort of thingy, for hard working single coal miners, so their faggots or whatever other unfit for human consumption, offal based delicacies are ready, when they get back to their filthy 2 up 2 down, vermin infested, terraced slum.

Cooniston Water.

Stop grovelling. I forgive you ffs.

Very cruel even for you, and especially today of all days, when I’ve been gleefully celebrating one of the greatest days in British history, which on a personal level of joyful experiences is right up there with the three days on which I left my ex wives. I do of course refer to the 50th anniversary of what’s become known as Bloody Sunday. I prefer to fondly remember it as Super Shooting Sunday.

Fnaar, fnaaar!

I was talking about a different Storm Malik. I would have thought that was obvious. Apology accepted anyway.

It’s very fucking like me, but I accept your apology anyway.

Any of you SJWs out there scouring the web for your next fix of outrage, needn’t bother looking at the Met Office, in the hope of finding your next excuse for a massive meltdown, as the guys and gals (and the other 97 gender groups and counting) who used to just guess whether it might rain tomorrow have decided that woke is the way forward for 21st century weather mongs. Storm ‘MALIK’ is reportedly battering parts of the U.K. tonight. I suppose it’s only fair, as there must be a growing number of bearded, peaceful young men out there who are furious at every storm being given names like Arthur, Hilda etc. Ive been unable to find Storm Steve, Typhoon Tony or Hurricane Harold anywhere else across the world though. I do hope it’s not just us that have become total fucking gutless wankers. The frogs will never let us live it down.

How and by who? these organisations are appointed to advise the cabinet is very unclear. SAGE for example is comprised of more behavioural psychologists and left wing academic ideologists than actual experts in the field of virology, immunology or any traditionally accepted medicine. That said, the government are wholly to blame for their tunnel vision, refusing to listen to anyone but the one group of appointed ‘experts’ even when it became obvious to everyone that they were wrong, and worse than that, putting the full resources of the state, into silencing and destroying anyone who dared to voice a different opinion, no matter how qualified or genuine their views were. There should be a day of reckoning for these unaccountable cunts, but I doubt it will ever come to be.

Happy new year Frank. Let’s hope it’s your last.

I didn’t say that they’ve just said it Baws. It was simply the fact that the manipulation of the public and the fear which the government pushed on them wasn’t accidental, but 100% premeditated and calculated to deceive the people into complying with whatever they were ordered to do. 😷💉🐑

The debunking to end all debunkings. Fact check…… informationally correct. Fact checkers ego check…..off the chart, in line with all previous finger wagging efforts. 🤭

Corned beef.

Stupid boring cunt.

Members of the ‘Scientific Pandemic Influenza Group on Behaviour’ (SPI-B) have admitted its work was “unethical and totalitarian”. They have expressed regret about the level of psychological tactics used by the U.K. government in its response to the Covid 19 pandemic. They warned the government in March last year that ministers needed to increase the ‘perceived level of personal threat from Covid 19 because a substantial number of people still do not feel sufficiently personally threatened’. But now these geniuses have realised that what they were doing was wrong and decided to come clean. Whatever. Shame they didn’t consider that all the while they were tricking our moronic politicians into destroying everything around them that they were elected to protect. All you wooily mask wankers were only too happy to scurry back under your beds and await Bozo, Whitty, Prof. Ferguson, or Dr. Hillary’s latest grim, but ‘totally scientific’ forecast re. your impending and unavoidable death, how best to protect the NHS, and hopefully not kill granny, before you take your socially distanced place in the queue at the cemetery, with none of your family present, and say Thank you’ before leaping like a good little lemming into your allotted grave.