King Billy

In the disabled toilets.

I was in the crowd when you knocked out George Foreman in the first round with one of his own ‘lean mean grilling machines’ to the chin. GOAT.

Ideal position to spread out a couple of grotmags on her back too. Sometimes romance needs stepping up a gear.

Reported for doxxing. I’ve dyed my hair now and have a man bun, so I look nothing like this picture at all.

In the house? I’ve hung a huge Russian flag in my front window, and a sign on the front door which states ‘Ukrainians will be shot on sight’. If that doesn’t deter them I’ll just hide behind the couch when they ring the doorbell.

On the house for you, if that’s your thing.

I’ve checked with my ‘reliable sources’ RK and I’m sorry to have to tell you that none of this scenario is possible as the moon is made of cheese. Unless you’re talking about the other moon in Hollywood where Neil Armstrong and the other actors filmed their last movie before they were executed and dumped out at sea for the sharks to play with.

I’ll have you know that I’m off to Budapest (capital of Turkey) on the 21st of this month for a week, to have my long overdue replacement plastic (zirconium and porcelain) tombstones fitted. I haven’t taken umbridge with your slanderous remarks as I appreciate that teeth are probably not your expert subject, guessing that cheap nasty cider takes very little chewing before making its way rapidly down your esophagus.

Our mothers couldn’t tell us apart and they never even knew each other.

I offered to take in a couple of Ukrainian refugees. Imagine my delight when the Home Office contacted me yesterday to say that a pair of 21 year old identical twins would be arriving on Friday. All day I’ve been planning a welcome party for Friday night for the 3 of us. Vodka, beetroot soup, loads of sniff, pornhub on my 65” Bang and Olafson and a dozen Rhohypnol just in case of any language difficulties later. Stefan has just texted me to say that he and his brother Dimitri should be arriving around lunch time Friday. 🤭

Jeremy?

Sea water?

Cardiac arrest during the ‘vinegar stroke’ is much more likely.

Get your ‘lad’ out.

Top quality, highly experienced staff, hoping to work in a clean, warm, professionally run ‘gentleman’s sauna/massage parlour, for minimal wages. A bit long as far as nicknames go, so I’ve abbreviated it to ‘cheap fannies for sale’

The faux outrage at an estimated 150,000 foreign invaders illegally crossing the border into the Ukraine should be put into context with the 2,000,000+ undocumented and uninvited illegal aliens who’ve swarmed across the US southern border since Potato Head Joe Biden illegally occupied the White House a year ago. Never mind the fact that we in the U.K. welcome every cunt who breaks our immigration laws and our so called leaders pay (with our money) to put them up for years in luxury hotels, complaining all the time and only venturing out after dusk to rape the local schoolgirls.

Slow down please Luv. I haven’t even got my fly open yet.

Every time she fact-checks me I get an enormous erection that would put even the old manhag Pens huge appendage to shame. It’s the only joy I have in life since joining this godforsaken place.

I’ve been very amused, but not in the slightest surprised to hear all the usual leftard media commentators bleating on in unison about how Bozo should open our borders to any Ukrainian who expresses a desire to come here. How 200,000 is nowhere near enough, how they’re fleeing for their lives and most laughably of all how they will all want to return home ASAP.🤣 Before this prearranged psyop started the average wage in Ukraine was €300 a month. When it’s over it will be around €300 a month less than that. The stampede to get back will no doubt be a sight to behold.

Ooh! Scary woman 🤭

Stephane Bancel CEO of Moderna sold off $1.8m of his shares on Feb 11 and announced on Twitter his immediate retirement with no explanation given. He had sold $38m of shares in a six month period in 2020. This in itself isn’t really a big story as he holds over a billion dollars of stock in the company. What is strange though is that his entire Twitter account was deleted the same day and he has since reappeared with his apparent resignation removed from the internet as if by magic. By the way I’m so happy to know you’re keeping an eye on me in case I get a bit muddled up with the fast moving events at the moment. I’m not sure if you’ve heard but you can take your face nappy off now, anytime, anyplace, anywhere. Just watch out for one of Bad Vlads nukes overhead. 🤣

Wow! You’ve really done well since 1945 when you were just the U Boat greasing and refuelling hub of the world. One thing that must really grind your gears though PaddyPants is all this business of yours going through the City of London, and us Imperialist Brits as usual nicking a chunk of it. On the bright side though, we’ve kept our sticky fingers out of your wheelbarrow rental industry (for now).

Fact checked…… No inconsistencies could be found, so this post can therefore be relied upon as absolutely true.

Happy Pancake Day 😘

I’ve been searching for Irelands response to this fake war BabyPants. I’ve sadly concluded that whatever you’ve decided must have been so insignificant that no one’s even bothered to report it. I guess that’s what happens when the big players on the world stage are dominating the news. Still, at least you’re a free sovereign state and not subject to the laws of any other countries now. 😂😂😘