King Billy

And at least 3 times the size.

Bring my brake pads Eddie if you’re going to turn up this time.

Are you OK? If you need to talk about anything I’m always here for you. 😘

Harsh but undeniably true Stubbers. Hopefully she’ll come through it all a better person, if she survives. I pray for her soul regularly.

I’ve just sold all my shares in ‘Bargain Booze’. Thanks for the heads up CBB.

When he wakes up in the neighbours hedge tomorrow morning with 18 regurgitated, freshly pickled eggs all over the front of his tank top, he’ll probably wish he’d spent that 2 quid on an extra 3 litre bottle of Diamond White instead.

With a side of Eddie jizz.

As it’s ‘International Mans Day’ today I genuinely hope you’ve had a good one, and not suffered too much abuse and ridicule from anyone who’s spotted you if you ventured out in public to celebrate. By ‘too much’ I obviously mean ‘nowhere near enough’.

I smell a rat.

hever?

Tat’ll be due to te weater in the sout of te country.

Tis sit as to stop rigt now Eric.

I’ve been doing my bit for years to reduce the volume of rubbish which ends up in landfill sites, by chucking as much rubbish out of the window as I can, when I’m blasting around the country lanes in my imaginary M4, pissed and off my nut on the devils dandruff. If only everyone actually did their bit like me there wouldn’t be any reason for Greta Thunberg to exist. I’d still give her one though, only because I know she’d fucking hate it slightly more than I would.

Eddie and Ape might be in a relationship and as far as I know neither of them plays for Chelsea. It’s all getting too much for me to work out scotty. I’m sure it’ll be a lot clearer in the morning. Probably.

I wouldn’t be too hasty paying out for either CBB. Wait till you’ve saved enough to buy a TV first.

‘Pint of Heisenberg please’ ‘£12.50 please sir.’

Computer says ‘BOOM!’

Fucking hell. Drew’s Mastercard would be maxxed out about 10 seconds after the kick off.

How do you know this scotty? Just asking.

I bet talking to you made him realise there are some people more fucking useless than him.

Hang yourself.

🐑💉😷 🤣🤣🤣

You won’t be getting my endorsement if you carry on with this sort of talk. ‘You’re fired!’

They’re just smarter than us scotty. And if they didn’t have tits, a fanny and nicer arses than us I wouldn’t even talk to them.

Reginald Molehusband. The safest parker in town.