King Billy

If he wasn’t so good looking he wouldn’t have had the fucking cheek to say something like that. I didn’t know he was also a MENSA genius like Roops. I wonder if he has a stack of unopened correspondence piling up in his hallway too?

The BBC immediately hired him.

She’d always have had the vile stench of Geldof oozing from her pores and every orifice though.

Motorway yoga.

Watch out for the Transport Police Eric. They’re trained to look out for that sort of thing.

Shut up you fucking hybrid freak.

My M4 is noisy as fuck and drinks petrol like Drew drinks cider, especially when I’m roaring past poor people with the window open and shouting ‘Cunts!’ at them. And I don’t even worry about the filth as it’s registered in the misuses name and I always dress up as her before I set off from home. I will miss her though when the law eventually catches up with her, but she’ll get no sympathy from me if she phones me from prison whining.

You’re off you’re fucking trolley Ed.

I’ve no idea what the fuck you’re on about but I’ll swap you an unboxed Furbie and an unopened pack of Pokémon cards for it Eddie, if you throw in my fucking brake pads too. Final offer or I’m sending Fends round to your gaff.

Cost of living crisis. We’re all in it together apparently. Richy Rich said so and he wouldn’t lie , would he?

Well I suppose Harlow could be classed as up North if you cut the top half of England off the map and then looked at it with your eyes closed (in the dark).

Scrunch up the paper, put it in your vile rancid mouth and use the pencil to push it down your throat, past your Adams Apple till you pass out and die, while no one notices or cares.

That’s the letter I sent to you that you’re quoting. Now you’re both going to have to do it.

Leave that to me scotty. I fucking hate cripples.

Good for you. Am I the first that you’ve come out to?

It would be hard to miss tbh.

I think I have 3 Eric and that’s 3 more than most punters. Obviously as a relative newbie to CC the harvest from my small allotment is proportionately less than the fully deserved spoils which your industrialised ‘like farming’ has for many years born the rich rewards of the hard work you’ve dedicated to it. I say this with total sincerity and genuine admiration. KB.

At least there’ll be something interesting to look at from the moon in the unlikely event that a human ever sets foot on it (unless Pens humungous abomination blocks the entire Planet Earth from view).

Chicken Ding…. Microwaved chicken.

‘Sorry Jane, not tonight. Rolling around in the lake with that big sexy croc has emptied both tanks Luv.’

Nothing personal HS, but ‘ratlikes’ have historically been more elusive than Lady Penelope’s second X chromosome on Cunts Corner. A few of us have a couple of them stashed away securely and treasure them for their rarity. If you ever consider selling yours please PM me first.

Voice of an angel, face like a silverbacks arse.

Johnny Weissmuller?

The Mrs Roops technique. “Nice to meet you Eddie. Get in the boot with the spare wheel’.

If he’d won yesterday he’d have quarified for the Masters at Arry Parry after chlistmas. Whar a blurry iriot.