King Billy

Padded cell would be a welcome relief from having the jug eared cuntstick for a parent.

I was enjoying this until you ruined it by adding ‘sadly’.

I’ll do that for free next time with my heavy duty boltcutters if I find out where you live.

Who was only seconds earlier perusing the overpriced, unfit for human consumption, egg and onion sandwich he’d just purchased and thinking to himself ‘At least this journey couldn’t possibly get any worse’.

They’ll have it all rebuilt in no time at all. Just look at all the mosques popping up overnight in what used to be ‘Christian’ countries. We’ve lost our ‘va va voom’ and it’s no wonder they’re laughing at us. I blame the fucking Spanish for a lot of it. Fucking layabouts, sloping off for tapas and a 3 hour kip every lunchtime, then shrugging their shoulders like Manuel if anyone asks them why the Gaudi cathedral is a hundred years behind schedule.

I’m probably mistaken Wolfie but I think I heard Gary Lineker or it might have been Owen Jones say exactly this earlier today (about half an hour after I accidentally ate a load of magic mushrooms I think).

‘As if by magic Mr Pen appeared’ (dressed as a weird looking ticket inspector).

The ‘TRANS PENnine express.

The twig legged vermin gave me a like today Stubbs, which I have to say has caused me some considerable and quite serious anguish. I’ve been toying with the idea of offsetting it by giving Pen one (pfwaaaar). Luckily I’ve run out which has temporarily put a stop to such insane thoughts.

Eusebio?

He’s been sponsored by Robertsons Marmalade ever since he outgrew the label on the jar.

I know this might sound a bit leftfield but howabout if we sent the 75000 or so fit and healthy young men (doctors, teachers, engineers etc.) who are currently occupying hotels all around the U.K. at our expense, with nothing to do all day long, apart from hang around the local schools and parks in the afternoons to meet the local children, then at bus stops and outside pubs after dark to meet the local women in their new homeland? I’m guessing they must have all volunteered already and there’ll be an announcement by the BBC and The Guardian etc. shortly.

Don’t provoke him Stubbs. I’ve heard he’s the best on here.

I recall an episode of ‘Great British Train Journeys’ with Michael Portillo being similarly taken aback by a pantyhose wearing bearded ‘female’ 🤣 ticket inspector’s enormous appendage entering the carriage,

Frank loses half his body weight every day from his leaky arsehole, but regains it every night thanks to the generosity of an endless queue of sperm donors outside Mitch’s former bedroom.

With a side dish of AIDS.

The freaky old weirdo is talking out of his giant cock as usual.

You tell him Frank. Without wishing to appear rude though, when can we expect some news regarding your next and widely anticipated offering? Just asking.

Frank I’ve just looked down and spotted the top of your disgusting wig creeping up the leaderboard. Don't make me climb down and teach you a lesson you’ll never forget. You’ve been warned.

Fucking retarded spastic. If you’d a bit more up top and a lot less down below you’d still be a fucking freak who’d be far happier dead.

Open wide, swallow the lot and just think of the fiver you can show off to all your rent boy mates over at Ali’s kebab shop later.

‘That would be a Macrobidical matter.’

The hedgehog won’t be cooked till 5.30 so that should give you both plenty of time for whatever pikeys and scousers get up to in their never ending quest to relieve the general public of their hard earned belongings lol.

Bit cloudy round my way tbh.

Give him half an hour to make Panzys breakfast first.