Dave Umbongo

Well personally I think she should be released into society, together with a current photograph of her printed on to 30 million or so 'Wanted: Dead or Alive' posters with a reward of a £1, a Blue Peter badge or some other worthless shit.

Alas I think she will be unrecognisable and that well protected by the authorities you would never know who she was. But if the veil of deceit ever dropped I would happily while away several days trying to expel all her internal organs with a soup spoon.

Frank reckons she's as dry as an out of date Jacobs cream cracker so I doubt those bloomers would be crusty unless it's dried piss and canestan.

Well, @Goober did say it sounded gay but I don't think you have to be gay to go in. I will therefore politely decline your kind offer, you homo.

You wouldn't have been able to keep your hands off me Gypps......mainly because I was wearing one of my better watches and my medallion.

It was a bit gay but my arse remained tighter than my wallet, thanks for your concern.

On Friday night I went to a bar in Norwich called Vodka Revolution (a bit insensitive during the 'special operation', but I couldn't really give two fucks), where they mostly served cocktails. What a load of fucking wank that is just for pouring two or three different drinks into the same glass with a cherry and an umbrella so they can charge a tenner a drink. And to cap it all, I got kicked out for being too good a dancer and making the other sad twats look shit.

You've obviously never been to Norwich train station otherwise you would know that most passengers don't use the lavatory to have a piss.

This performance is about as real as Frank's lifestyle.

I thought you would have had an Austin A-leg-grow. See what I did there.

Yes, come on (Keith Lard) @Wolfie is it the dogs fault? The owners only had it a week, surely it can't be their fault for the dogs behaviour, can it?

Harveeeeey?

The only family photo they could find was sat in the rear car park of an Odd-bins warehouse while mummy, presumably, flicks the bird to camera. The baby girl may not have thought it at the time she was getting her throat ripped out but, I actually think she's better off dead.

Well, you know what they say, plum brandy makes you bum randy. I'm sure you'll have a great night and I dread to think what your pyjamas will look like tomorrow.

I bet they don't take a wet bend as well as my shit, and leave skid marks while doing it.

@King Billy if you had nommed the police officers that strip searched Child Q rather than this comparitive nonsense it would have received far more support. Black lives matter, white lives don't. What were you thinking?

Adult size 12, G extra wide fitting as well.

There must be some sort of competition between advertising executives going on at the moment trying to see who can get the most useless and ridiculous individual to advertise their shit. You wait, Shane McGowan (or Billy) will be popping up advertising Oral-B, Paula Radcliffe advertising Tena pants and Rosie Jones advertising the Operation game.

Racist cunt.

Sniffs the dust (allegedly). He didn't inject the drugs in his system because apparently this little prick, was afraid of little pricks.

You sexist cunt. I bet you wouldn't feel the same way if it was a boy

Turns out the 'medical professional' has just been trained to obtain blood samples and didn't have a fucking clue about it being easier to obtain a sample of blood if it's still flowing around the body from the pressure of a beating heart. What a fucking incompetent bunch of stupid cunts. I bet Bronstein was a Trump voting Republican as well, hence no press coverage.

A-Man. (probably)

The only way you'll get them would be if you voted Farage in.

Ronnie was as weak as piss as I once had to demonstrate when I knocked the cunt out after I had already straightened Lenny McLean out.