Dave Umbongo

Fucking hell. The next initiative will be to get the gays to do their own prostate examinations while they're back scuttling.

In truth, not many darkies.

He's remarkably hairy for a Brazilian. Am I racist?

Decimus. Although he hasn't been on here a while so hopefully he's dead.

Carry on, but make sure it's Spirytus Rektyfikowany vodka, and lots of it. It's still sunny here but I'm only down the road from the (dry) bog dweller, Dickless.

Even the people who have this skin don't feel comfortable in it so I doubt they'll be much demand for trousers made from it

What if you have a pair of trousers made out of human skin like Buffalo Bill from that Silence of The Lambs documentary?

Chewed it, spat it out.

Reminds me of the midget cat-in-a-hat mentalist, J-Kay from Jamiroquai. His first album, Emergency on Plant Earth, mainly about what we're all doing to help end the world and as soon as he makes a few quid he spunks millions on a fleet of Ferraris that do about 6 miles to the gallon. Hypocritical cunt of the highest order.

"Oi!, Neil junior. That skirt's too fucking short. You've got a detention so you'll miss your Sociology lesson where we'll be discussing gender neutral policies for infants"

Yes, but he'll need a lot more than a can of Sure to get rid of that smell. Bag of shite.

Yes, but, give it to me.

Own up. Who's seen the new Sure deodorant advert then. I reckon the geezer in it has been drinking the stuff because he's absolutely legless.

Cue Walkers producing a Chicken, Rice & Peas flavour crisp for this slightly dusky cunt to advertise for all his oppressed brothers and sisters. Personally, if I knew him in his younger days he would just be called a jug-eared cunt since that was a more visible feature than his slight tan.

Imagine the size of the stupid, fat, fucking obese slag if she wasn't taking diet pills.

Imagine my surprise to read that somebody in the audience has been offended by a comedians joke and complained to the police. Now you're probably trying to guess which one it is, out of Frankie Boyle, Ricky Gervais or Jimmy Carr. Sorry to disappoint but it was Joe Lycett and a joke involving the words "giant donkey dick". FFS Pen, calling the police is a bit excessive, don't you think.

I think they're implying that Stringfellow Hawk is an Alpaca or something.

Is his first name Mike and his surname starts with a 'D', by any chance?

Fuck off. I raise you Sophia Hadjipanteli. I fucking win I think.

🐑🍗 or, ♿ Fuck off with your hieroglyphics.

Your post has made it feel even longer.

Well, you will keep buying gay socks.

According to our local rag, The Eastern Evening News, a 'celebrity' in the form of Paul Sinah from The Chase was drinking in a Norwich pub the other night and I made a comment, "I wonder if he ordered a Vodka-martini and shook it himself", and none of the other interbred readers found it amusing. What a bunch of humourless cunts.

Errr, no thanks

Rattled. Ape and Wolfie sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g, (each others knobs, obviously)