Dave Umbongo

Is the internet a bit slow in the Deliverance woods in Canada with your fucking 14.4 baud rate dial-up. Put your fucking banjo down and focus on the task at hand, you dopey cunt

So just because a red blooded normal bloke sends inappropriate texts messages (allegedly) to a female, the BBC goes all guns blazing and sacks him. But, and it's a fucking big BUT, if said presenter had sent those texts to a bloke or young lad, he would probably be kicking his feet up for the next 6 months on full pay. The BBC just don't like normal heterosexual people do they but they can't do enough for the fucking poofs and queers.

Mo Slaters fence in EastEnders??

Well there's certainly got to be something seriously wrong with her for marrying a cunt like you. No offence intended.

What the fuck is wrong with leaving a jizz filled knotted condom hanging from the bridge instead?

And who said you can't put a price on love.

He's more likely to have them strung across the top of the windscreen in the Rascal like some DNA encrusted bunting. The smell emanating from them when the Rascal is parked in full sunlight adds to the ambience when searching for victims.

A plague.

Were you thinking Nonce Pox too?

Fuck that, I've renamed it myself to Npox. Have a guess what the N is short for?

I thought you were Franks arsehole, at least that's what I thought he called you.

I'm imagining something like this but on a much bigger scale and equally as fucking useless. https://news.sky.com/story/bankrupt-birmingham-council-to-sell-off-athletes-village-at-over-300m-loss-13196966

It's like rhythmic gymnastics, nothing more than poncing around with a hula-hoop and a length of bog roll.

Reported to the Keirstapo for inciting civil unrest. Penalty code - 1984.

I would buy a VW Beetle, there's a certain irony about driving a car that you can only get in Brazil which has a bonnet that resembles a bald camel toe.

If it had, Shamima Begun would be sitting at home watching EastEnders.

I hope you're feeling some of this pain Dickless as you're a filthy fucking migrant in Canada aren't you? Have you started your banjo lessons yet or do you just do the squealing??

He was accused of stalking a junior member of staff, you know, a bit like Roops' does to @King Billy

FFS. The internet's wasted on you. https://metro.co.uk/video/norfolk-headteacher-resists-arrest-fails-harassing-junior-female-teacher-3235807

When I first saw this video of this laughable pathetic excuse i thought it was another of Franks efforts, writhing about like a screaming poof, but built like a stay-puft man rather than an anemic clothes horse. https://www.edp24.co.uk/video/233910/

But they're shit at swimming though, global warming and the melting of the ice caps can't come quick enough.

You can have a gold medal if you knock Francis out.

What are people's thoughts on Ricky Jones?? Do you reckon the constituents are satisfied with the way they voted and having him representing them? It's a difficult one, I know.

Although 'they' always made out they were a man, the amount of times they (he?) changed their mind about contributing to this website or fucking off in another hissy fit, left me with the strong assumption that it was indeed a woman.

Thanks to global warming they'll have to come up with a different plan. "Grandma, I'd like you to meet Scotty"