Dave Umbongo

It's "Crosse", you stupid fucking cunt. And I buy my baked beans from the original importers, Fortnum and Mason.

What,? A fantasy like having your Audi S5 nicked?

Read the nom. title you fucking twat. It would be impossible to comment upon without reference to bum banditry. Anyhow, I heard he got bummed by somebody showing his chopper off at a nerds model con.

Bollox. I read that he used to stack tins of beans in Tesco.

Or go round Neil's for tea and crumpets.

Ignore this fucking moron James. Do you come from Norfolk? It would seem 80% of the other posters do, myself included, except Ape. He lives in Welwyn Garden City near Tescos head office. cc. everyone

She's a weird looking one. Looks a bit like a he/she, one with a husband called 'Dave' and a brother-in-law who says kushty a lot. A blow job off her would probably feel like putting your knob in a plumbers tool bag.

Roll on Brexit! Then British Leyland and Hillman can start building cars again, which admittedly were a pile of shit but at least all of the seat belts worked. Fucking krauts trying to win the war by stealth again.

Nice one. But I gather from previous information Tesco Value is the connoisseurs choice.

I blame the pressure of Brexit on the team, oh, and plus the fact they're unbelievably shit.

Can you buy tins of beans on credit?....I'm asking for a friend., no i mean I'm asking for some boring fucking idiot who regularly posts shit on here.

Good old plod has got his own back by posting footage of him ramming scooter thugs off the road in Cockneyville. It makes me proud to be British to see these fucking idiots getting wiped out, I can't way for the sequels. Anyhow, if anyone is wondering why scooter crime has dropped by 40% I reckon it's because the Little fucking Mohammed Rossi's have got a bit of a deterrent now.

You must have experienced both in order to make the comparison. cc. Withers; Punkape

No. You're the stupid cunt, you stupid cunt. Rather than nom. everyone you read about in the Mail OnLine try nomming something original that annoys somebody of your intellect, like "forgetting to use paper while wiping your arse ( again)."

Okay. You got me, but in my defence the TV was on mute so I would rather consider myself as a wanker rather than a cunt as, I have to be honest, that was what I was doing at the time.

I'd shag her though. As long as she kept her mouth shut. On another point, it appears you saw the performance from the accurate description you've given and therefore you must accept the accolade of "another cunt that watches the X Factor"

I have to have one of these for my tenants to pay on my other property.

Have you ever had a mortgage Neil? The only difference is the residual value of the item. Your £260k house that you originally purchased for £160k will cost you £400k over the lifetime of the mortgage* (*rough calculations based on my common sense, which is fuck all if I'm honest) I have to admit that you've failed in life if you need to borrow money for anything other than property or perhaps a vehicle.

Why don't you sign off with your account name like Panzerknacker does instead. Cunty. ps I don't think you're a cretin. You're a fucking embarrassment. Rattled, again?

Does anyone else find it surprising how so many people managed to extract money from the council by fraudulently claiming they were effected yet, when it came to finding the circa £270k to put the correct cladding on the thing that wouldn't turn it into a 25 storey candle, they couldn't afford it. And, is anyone surprised that they're all Johnny Foreigner, some of which are illegal. Fucking piss take.

Rattled? LMAO

He looks as if he's been nobbling too many sausages with the extra lumber he's carrying around his jowls and midriff. Oh..err! I'm such a bitch. Fabulous!

Well let's hope the dog has been neutered so it teaches the children about trans gender choices they might have to make. What a bitch, I mean a dog.

Avoiding the question are you? How can I put it another way, are you still yanking at your joystick whilst staring at others mens' choppers? Lol. Cunty.

If you had these Ape, wouldn't it give your boyfriends down at the helicopter club another orifice to put their cock rather than in your mouth or up your arse?