Dave Umbongo

Trust the Americans to be the experts in the best way to get fluids up your arse. What do you use to get the shitty finger prints off the bulb of your nasal a(rse)spirator, you filthy cunt?

Baws you fucking cunt, I was having a good day until you reminded me about this gurning Davros bitch.

Mine's 'Ronseal Woodstain' for some peculiar reason.

Are you sure it's not spunk 'n your stools that's causing it to spread like peanut butter?

You're obviously not a member of the family, he loves them, literally. The interbred Norfolk Yokel.

Lambeth council is Labour. What the fuck do you expect from a party desperate for votes.

The jokes mildly amusing but not really offensive enough, in my opinion, you fucking shitty pissflaps toss wank cunts.

Well, you're the expert on below average intelligence.

I see he's wearing the red jacket / brown trousers combo in true Deadpool style.

I VOTE Owen Jones doesn't get his fucking head kicked in everytime he goes out. Overturn that one you mincing fucking ponce.

Golfers and people who like to go balls deep in holes......er, sorry i mean Catholic priests. Is there any difference??

People who like to go balls deep in holes and people who like to go balls deep in holes.........er, sorry I mean golfers, Is there any difference? Lol. Fuck off. Pleb. Peasant. Beanz Meanz Heinz, Etc...

That's a very calm retort. Are you positive you're not a closet homo?

These gases you speak of must be particularly off putting for you as you try and stick your cock up their arse.

I wouldn't mind so much if this renewal every 10 years eliminated some of the illegal drivers on the road but it has no fucking impact whatsoever. Another stealth tax.

I would have done toad in the hole to see whether they would have consumed it by shoving it down their hole or up their hole. The dirty AIDS ridden golfers.

That's just lazy meal planning. Did he not know about Findus Crispy Pancakes and Waffles.

So Richard Gere is lending his support by boarding a migrant boat with 120 Libyans on board because no European country is stupid enough to let the cunts dock. Well Dick, best you fuck off back to America and take the cunts with you if you really want to show your support. I am sure Donald will be waiting with open arms you hypocritical fucking cunt.

And Neil, just because this bus driver doesn't partake in bum banditry and other golf related activities does not necessarily mean that he won't occaisionally wank himself into a coma.

Oh, so that's what they mean when they say somebody's on the other bus.

I didn't say they were my husband's, you stupid, senile old fucking slag. I bet you'd love to be in Carolines cabinet.

I find it quaint that they have to list 'electric wiring' as a selling point, unless the electric is in relation to gates and fences to keep the non-whites at bay.

This Green Party member. No, not a member, but Green Party leader, wants to assemble an 'emergency' cabinet of female MP's only as she says, "women cooperate better to find solutions". Some of the former husband's I know would beg to differ after going through some shocking divorce proceedings. Anyhow, to point of this sexist fucking nom., what would happen if Boris proposed assembling a group excluding women? I can only assume Caroline likes to hug dykes as well as trees.

The official autopsy said it died from an infection after getting it's cock caught in a zip.

Some people on here actually like you, surely they're poofs too?? I'm confused now.