Dave Umbongo

Surely you mean a Series 3. Jaguar don't do Marks as any owner will tell you. I hope I haven't ruined your story.

I fear a 'friendly fire' incident is imminent and the yankee twat will get himself banned. And, if you're reading this Salty, send Anne Sacoolas back.

I'm just surprised both of the fucking spackers can read.

Don't they wear make up anyhow? aka camo paint. Make up can be useful in the armed forces to make you look different or to blend in with yokels I.e blacking up, which was mentioned earlier. I don't believe the intention is for snipers to wear false eyelashes which would clearly obscure the vision through the Vortex 1-8×24 StrikeEagle 30mm rifle scope as they were targeting rag heads.

The only LBC that I am aware of is impressioned into a brick which I would happily smash into your gurning face, you fucking poof.

I buy the 30.4cm ones. It's about time Salty and his ilk embraced SI units.

What is this pile of shit?, I hear you ask. Well, I thought so too. And after reading an article on SkyNews, I still don't know but let me surmise. Stupid cunts who want to change from a 'she' to a 'he' who don't like being a 'he' (because they still can't aim piss accurately, or something) and then want to revert to a 'she' from a 'he'. Apparently there's no option for them however, I beg to differ, what about killing yourself. What the fuck is wrong with making a woman suit out of the skin of dead prostitutes if you want to transition without the inconvenience of paying extortionate parking fees whilst in surgery?

The only consolation is these bitches will be working until at least they are 65 before they get their state pension. Yeeeehah. Y'all have a good day now.

Finally, a high court decision that makes fucking sense. That'll fuck off those strange cunts that have had gender reassignment from a man to a woman. You've already retired haven't you Glowworm? Ha Ha Ha.

What's so secretive about speaking Cuntonese?

You're meant to be a woman, aren't you? So what the fuck do you know about football? Get in the kitchen and finish the fucking washing up.

And an absence of any brain cells for it to effect.

Pansy, you fucking half bred Maris piper loving cunt, That glass house you live in can't have any windows left.

It would look a mess. Boom! Boom!

For a holiday company to go bust, after which must be peak season, then some questions need fucking answering. I'll give them credit for not going bust earlier during the school holidays when everyone is charged more than double for the same fucking holiday.

I heard the window was in the accommodation they were staying. 10 metres at roughly 2.5 metres a floor level means there were 4 storeys below water.!! Were they staying in fucking steerage the cheap skate cunts?

If you're going to submit posts on our good old British,... no English website (fuck off Panzy you oirish cunt) then set your spell checker to English UK so that the stupid fucking thing replaces the Z (zed, or zee to wankers like you) for an S.

Rapper Rodney doesn't really sound as impressive. Fucking plonker.

The handrails on prison staircases are quite sharp. What were the chances on him hitting that when "he just fell down the stairs, guv."

I guess it won't be long before government forms have extra choices for the old gender question, Male; Female; Non-Specific; Fuck Knows, just to appease these fucking mongs. On a semi related note, does anyone know the best place to buy depth charges?

I wonder what the headlines would be if it turns out that, in his rugby playing days, Mike Tyndall tackled this poof on the rugby field and caused a blood injury which resulted in the bummers disease being transferred. And I bet Zara & Mike must have cooked nosh for the rest of the Royals at some point. Toad in the Hole or one of Jewdys kebabs probably. Anyhow we could probably see the highest death toll of Germans since the war if this happens.

It's made of gold, so fucking what. I'd trade it for a Royal Doulton vitreous china one if it wiped my arse for me.

I didn't think the dirty dagos used soap.

Ditto. For fucks sake.

These are the sort of wankers who are queueing in the 10 items or less aisle with over 12 items in their basket. Cunts should be arse raped with a katana.