Dave Umbongo

None taken, you garlic munching, goose fucking cunt.

I'm going to be carrying a bag of quick lime whenever I go to London now.

He didn't, he typed it. To which I totally agree, religious belief is at the root of all conflicts, except the conflict I have with Ape - that is purely entertainment only as I dont have a Netflix subscription anymore.

Baked Bean canapes followed by Spam fritters with a polystyrene cement jus..................and the after dinner fruit bowl that he tries to catch Wolfies car keys in. Swinging!

1) was the cunt wearing a GoPro 2) where can I obtain a copy of the video - I could do with a laugh.

In short, a 50 quid Space Pen will do exactly what one of those Mini MikeD pencils do which I regularly nick from Argos or Screwfix.

I actually collect pens,mainly because they take up less space than watches............ and shitty toy helicopters.

You stupid cunt, you know Billy can't be trusted with pens (they cause the ceramic to delaminate from his gnashers when he chews the tops) he puts wax crayons to paper.

Eurowise the clown??? Well that's what the cunt would have been called if we hadn't fucked Brussels off.

What a weird thing for a left-wing labour representative to be opposed to. The party that incessantly spouts the benefit and need for employment unions but as soon as a 'union' of scum commit a crime they don't like the 'collective bargaining' approach. Fuck off you bunch of paradox policy cunts

And all on a diet of rice and whatever other shit they chose to spend the money on that Bob and Midge gave them.

Don't worry as we can always replace these numerous potential superstars with the ones that arrive daily in dinghies and, its a positive that they are already highly qualified and at the top of their game.

I know what you mean, I would have hit the black bastard if he wasn't smiling.

Not only that but apparently they even recruit women and gays nowadays. I hear they do excel at putting camo paint on their face.

Deborah Meadon being a prime example when she shafted her parents by orchestrating a management buyout of the family holiday business from under their noses. Her and Tuker need to agree to a murder/suicide pact, while utterng the words, "i'm out"

There appears to be a lot of double spaces in this response so you're either fucking around with polystyrene cement again or more likely, you've been surfing hardcore gay dwarf porn again and you've had a spillage on your space bar. You weird little cunt.

Time for Thomas to hang up his Helly Hansen braces, jogging bottoms & red-neck shirt and fuck off. As for the replacement, where the fuck do I start? my only positive comment would be, it could have been slightly worse if the BBC had chosen the ugliest dalek on skaro in the form of Nikki Fox to co-host. I guess they realised that would shorten the scope of the programme to auctions for bungalows.

There's no honour among cunts, or is that thieves? Either way, you will be pleased to know that you wouldn't be in the Deadpool.

I would quite happily wipe out some of my team with a 'friendly fire' incident.

Well, I can't hear any pissed up yokels stumbling past late at night, but I put that down to not being a fucking stupid cunt and buying a house near a boozer.

Eddie you spaz, I imagine you turning up for the fight with a bottle of rum and a ghetto blaster while the other side asks inquisitively, "Where's your tool?" as they cave your stupid fucking skull in, just like that other black dopey bastard in Scum.

If I knew where you lived I would purposely stand outside for at least 20 minutes shouting , Boom!, Boom! while laughing my head off.

I'm the best one on here.

I saw it, purely by accident while Googling 'Ape Airfix Kits', who knew that Google would present a massive arsehole in it's results??! Anyhow, I didn't expect them to use both fists.

I am, and you most definitely have made yourself look a silly, boring cunt. Well done you one trick pony.