Dave Umbongo

Okay this bitch is a bit of a cunt because she's 39 years old, of no fixed address and has just been arrested for affray when she was wandering around with a house brick in each hand but, most of all she is a cunt for deliberately coughing towards the policeman which won her 4 months in prison. 4 months!!! Just for coughing in someone's direction. Fucking stupid cunt.

Explain to me and everyone else the purpose of the word AGAIN, in your statement.

It's another 'look at me' tool for chavs and morons, what the fuck is wrong with just having a whirligig of the old man and the well. Its silent but tells you when its windy when he's going at it like Punkape with a wind-up dildo.

Up until now, that is. Welcome to the debate.

Got rid of those books as it didn't portray my inner me. I've got for an author I think most people on here would like, David Britton. I particularly like the novel, "Motherfuckers: Auschwitz of Oz", so soothing to read a chapter before bed.

I think we can all guess what Fwanks would look like, an epileptic with rickets and a wig with a creme bin in the foreground and the bookcase in the background with a book about the Ming Dynasty and Reincarnation for Dummies.

So, when I have my Zoom meeting this week are you saying it would be better if I didn't have my complete collection of Viz annuals and anniversary edition of Mein Kampf on display in the bookcase?

The good karma hospital sorts the browns out.

My guess would be that the traditional ethnic minority is actually the majority, especially in densely populated shit holes like Luton and Bradford.

Why not dress up as a pantomime cow and audition for a part in The Yorkshire Vet.

I trust we're also chartering flights to send the illegal fuckers back and while we're at it why not sneak a few of those early releases from chokey on board. I see Group 4 royally fucked that plan up again, I say Group 4, it may not have been but, I'll bet it's the same fucking halfwit staff as they would have been TUPE transferred for the last venture capitalist company set up to run it like shit to make obscene profits.

I have to disagree with you there. I've just had a quick scan and they've nommed the BBC and very quickly diverted to talk of someone struggling to buy hydraulic pipe. It's more like Mumsnet for types that are members of CAMRA who also spend most of their time in a tool shed, rearranging their tools in alphabetical order whilst furiously wanking thinking of the old birds they used to see at church on a Sunday morning, probably. Fucking disgraceful.

With knowledge like that its hardly surprising that all you've amassed in life is an 'apartment' and not something more grandeur like a house or even a bungalow.

They'll be to busy clearing up Heather Watsons used jam rags which she keeps advertising on the telly, I bet her monthly blood eggs are double yolkers.

I think she was just smiling because although she had come across as a bit of an incompetent, wet lettuce of an MP and smirker of deaths in care homes she would still be thought of as a smaller cunt than Piers.

I have just watched this former rag top, bullshit merchant interview Helen Wately on GMTV. Let's just say, I hope the cunt gets shafted by the full set of Punkies golf clubs, preferably all at once, head first with particular attention on the sand wedge.

For once I don't think Donald Trumpton is the biggest ginger fucktard in America.

Now then, Now then.

Fuck the cats, they're reporting on the radio that whales have it and UKGov is spending £350m to tackle it.

Nothing a swift smack on the snout with a box of Frosties wouldn't solve. They'rrrre Grreatttt!

I want a pet Liger like those red neck imbeciles on Tiger King however, i would need to check that my local Companion Care can give it a routine check up, you know, take its temperature. Fucking rip off cunts.

I reckon 'Bhagavan' Doc Antle was the biggest of a bunch of mullet wearing, red neck cunts. If he had his arm ripped off I would have rescued the arm and left the rest of his pile of shit carcass in the cage.

Cut some of that excess skin to make some chamois squares so he can give the rape van a wash now and again.

Neil would.

Who's going to get close enough? The fucking Chinese of course, when they're trying to extract its dental plaque or other such crap because they believe infusing it into a tea will make their little yellow cocks stay harder, or something.