Dave Umbongo

Dressed in black. Mings funeral??

No thanks. Try Wolfie.

A similar phrase uttered by piss weak, fucking useless management of a failing organisation, "We are where we are"

Lammy does seem to have a skin texture similar to chocolate Ice-magic - equally as slippery, no doubt.

I thought it was an advert for extolling the benefits of private healthcare for those that can afford it or, who can get the peasants to pay for it.

How else are you going to get to Cyprus? If I were you I would tell the people complaining to 'fuck off' in your best mongloid voice.

I see Carol Vorderman has waded in over Labours cutting of the Winter Fuel Allowance, why the fuck should she care? It's not going to decrease her viewing figures, she doesn't even host Countdown anymore.

Starmer and his cohorts are quickly running out of other things to blame, although I have noticed that he has recently laboured ('scuse the pun) the point of how much the party has changed in the last 5 years so it's effectively opened up the floodgates to blame the Blair, Brown and Corbyn leadership as he seems to have thoroughly exhausted the Torys as an excuse in an unbelievably short space of time.

Don't be so Re-Dickless. (Wrong phrase for someone like you)

I think he reached the pinnacle of his potential success while wearing a blue coat at some shitty holiday park.

I would need assistance getting on one because there's no way I would willingly get on one of these sporadically running shit boxes of my own volition.

Fuck off, that's photoshopped. Where are all the blacks?

FFS. I bet he could smell the digested jerk chicken, rice and peas.

Can you report from the queue waiting for treatment for stabbings. It's going to be a busy day for you.

Not technically the cunt, but the cunt is, it's never a detention centre or a large accommodation barge, is it. I propose that every new illegal migrant is given accomodation, food and a nice new Chinese imported E-scooter to get around on.

I actually think I'll be okay swimming off the coast of Northern Turkey. #Whiteseasmatter

Fuck off Francis, you Findus Crispy Ming-cake shagging freak.

Even if it said water resistant to 300metres, like some of mine do, how many people are in a position to utilise the limits of that performance. It's all a fucking con, like putting a speedometer in a car that reads up to 160mph but you have an 850cc 3 cylinder engine under the hood.

The Rolex saying 'Water Resistant to 5ATM' would be as fucked as the previous owner so I wouldn't bother with that one. If this super rich Mike Lynch cunt (not to be confused with the super-cunt Mick Lynch) had most of his assets registered in the UK it might plug some of Rachel Reeves' black hole (fucking disgusting thought) in the finances.

"it's Mr Starmer, you fucking peasants"

I just remember the horse faced little slag being the 'her' on The Hitman and Her after staggering home from the boozer on a Saturday night. Don't get me wrong, I'd still stick one up her like a rat up a drain pipe but a blow job would be out of the question with those gnashers.

I've heard he sends inappropriate messages to his female colleagues at the BBC on papyrus.

Fuck this Monkeypox, I've got a bet on with Ladbrokes that Canada will shortly be suffering a gay AIDS epidemic soon. What do you reckon, @Decimus

Do you have any cotton fields??

The reject chocolate, apparently that's how they used to make it.