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Dave Umbongo

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Everything posted by Dave Umbongo

  1. Dave Umbongo
    "Life imitates art more than art imitates life" Oscar Wilde will be turning in his grave at the prospect of this nomination.
  2. Dave Umbongo
    Don't play thick, even I can see who the main protagonist is.
  3. Dave Umbongo
    That's the most sensible thing you've ever posted. Well done. (unless somebody else has used your log-in, which is a strong possibility based on previous performance)
  4. Dave Umbongo
    And it also satisfies Bernoulli's equation of a fluid moving through a weir.
  5. Dave Umbongo
    Don't knock it. Anyone can learn something from a woman who shoots ping-pong balls out of her fanny.
  6. Dave Umbongo
    Is that why they're called cock-tail sticks?
  7. Dave Umbongo
    Fucking computer software is a total cunt anyhow. What other industry permits you to market and sell a package which then has to receive regular updates, bug fixes and patches because it wasn't fit to be fucking sold in the first place. Yes, Bill Gates, you cunt. I'm talking about you and shitty Windows 8.
  8. Dave Umbongo
    I read the whole document before I got to the chart at the end which was titled ESTIMATED delivery dates. Surely even Europe must understand the meaning of estimated? It would be like me saying that 'I estimate that Childeharold will post something mildly amusing, sooner or later'
  9. Dave Umbongo
    Do you think that will improve the efficacy?
  10. Dave Umbongo
    I personally think they would. There are still some people in the EU that still think they have power and influence to get what they want as there is no-one above them to call them accountable. It still hasn't registered with them that the UK has fucked off and left the party early.
  11. Dave Umbongo
    We could fuck off all that French and German wine off of our supermarket shelves and only stock Italian wine. That should help the I-Tye cunts out and also fuck off the frogs and the krauts.
  12. Dave Umbongo
    Harold you cunt. Fuck this Dinner Date bullshit off with it's lah-di-dah fucking food for faux-gentry types. You need to tune in to a quality cooking show with the King of Free Handouts, Sir Marcus of Rashford. 1st episode - baked Southern fried hedgehog with rice and peas.
  13. Dave Umbongo
    I don't actually think he has AIDS, I think he's losing weight in sympathy for his old fuck buddy Ming as she hasn't put on any weight for about 2 years............, mainly on account of the fact she's dead but Frank still likes the company.
  14. Dave Umbongo
    You fucking twat. Don't you know nothing? Frank is anything but fat and if it wasn't for his pasty complexion he could quite easily be cast as a convincing extra in a Bob Geldof / Sir Leonard (cunt) Henry charity appeal.
  15. Dave Umbongo
    I assume you're not also referring to Mrs Roops' unkempt jungle of a lady garden?
  16. Dave Umbongo
    Back on topic. Having not ever wanted to purchase a sidecar I do not see this as a cunt. Only retarded fucking shit-cunts want to buy a sidecar, them and that fucking ugly bitch, Olive, from On The Buses.
  17. Dave Umbongo
    And you've named the two most experienced and expert dribblers on the site, unfortunately it's cum from their arseholes and nothing involving a football.
  18. Dave Umbongo
    Imagine the state of their fucking toilet after these pair of fat cunts have emptied the contents of their rectums down it every morning. Hopefully they won't breed.
  19. Dave Umbongo
    Well at least we know Google is still partially successful. Search for a cunt built like a Twiglet* (*other stick like snacks are available) and up pops a cunt like an obese Stay-Puft Marshmallow man.
  20. Dave Umbongo
    "He kept the green bits on the strawberries" May I politely remind you Harold that if everyone removed the shitty bits that no one wanted then, you wouldn't exist, either on this website or in life generally. Fuck off.
  21. Dave Umbongo
    It could be Anthony Browne of Dagenham?? A deranged fucking idiot that's defintely too old to be living with his step mom. There's a suspicious absence of plushies in the lounge though.
  22. Dave Umbongo
    I would say that as a retired 70 year old he is probably fully aligned to Labours 'out of touch' policies for the working classes.
  23. Dave Umbongo
    Unless they're ginger in which case Roops will give you an honorary doctorate.
  24. Dave Umbongo
    You fucking useless cunt.
  25. Dave Umbongo
    He could climb a fully glazed building without using his hands.
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