Dave Umbongo

That wanker Dickless forced me to do it. Don't cooler him though as his presence on the site makes everyone else feel a little bit better about their own existence.

You'd better be looking over your shoulder next time you're scavenging for your dinner in Caister Recycling Centre as I'm planning to bop you over the skull and tip you in the 'Non-Recyclables' skip with all the other waste. You've been warned.

Sounds like puberty to me. Are your balls growing hairs too.

Oh well done. Based on recent experience Ape is likely to forget this bullshit as soon as he's read it. Try picking a punter less forgetful to give some substance to your threat.

There you go, I've changed it, you stupid cunt.

Just seen an article in the local rag referring to LGBTIQA+. If you're a normal person like me you've just become accustomed to knowing that LGBT stands for Lesbian, Gay, bisexual, Trans-sexual, my first thoughts were, fuck off, there's only 19 letters left in the alphabet and, what the fuck does IQA stand for? It stands for Intersex, Questioning, Asexual. FFS do you really need a + symbol after this lot and why not just leave it at G+, or even G++.

Go fuck yourself. I've already had a word with Allah and he's arranged for a big fuck off thunder storm to descend on Caister this weekend and flood you cunts out.

I'll face the consequences whatever they may be. Hopefully it will be ignore me. Anyhow, a minion like yourself doesn't tell me what to do in my lofty position, you can politely ask me but I'll probably still tell you to fuck off. With all due respect.

Like attracts Like. The basic law of attraction. You dope.

I'll get on it straight away. With all due respect, CBB

A large (25kg) sack of spuds. Sorry, I thought you said quantify.

Thanks cunt. I've just given myself PTSD imagining the cow picking up an STD.

Bodyparts turning black are the symptoms, so what if they're already black like Eddies?

I wouldn't trust her to find the right hole for a colonoscopy.

Watched this fat sow being interviewed on BBC Breakfast this morning and while I do have sympathy for the front line NHS staff that put in hard shifts because they need a decent income and have a desire to make a difference in what they do as a job, this fucking mouthpiece does not represent the nurses seeking pay rises in a very good light. Admittedly not even I would want to cover her food bill looking at the size of the heffer - think Hattie Jacques in Carry-On doctor but a couple of stone bulkier, but, she doesn't have kids which we all know, other than the mortgage, is the biggest drain on the family finances and, it turns out she is not working because of 'Long Covid' - this will shortly become the new modern fibromyalgia, which coincidentally, she also has.

Is Maskist a thing?

The only time I would be happy seeing one of these would be if it said 'Frank on board' in the rear window of a hearse. Fuck off.

As Baws said in not as many words, you're a stupid fucking (alzheimers) prick.

US 'soccer' team.

If it's called a dick, it must have a dick.

Traditional hickory or one of those new-fangled fibreglass ones...asking for a friend.

....by combining them to have a total of six.

Dickless you cunt, have you heard about the bloke who's creating a facility for Downs sufferers in a North Norfolk seaside town? He's calling it the Cromer-Zone. Fuck off

Well if it's sack cloth they're also going to need a couple of house bricks, to err..., make sure it keeps its shape in the water.

Play-DOH! 12 minutes, you stupid cunt.