Dave Umbongo

"He's called Sidney Potter, I tell you" by Grandad, Episode 1 of Only Fools and Horses.

This fucking Gay Rights Activist ordered a Bert & Ernie cake from some bakery in PanzySpacker Land way back in 2014, and said owners of the bakery refused to make it because the degenerate Lee wanted 'Support Gay Marriage' emblazoned on the (presumably, Fudge) cake. He started some European Hooman Rights bollox that has finally led to him getting thoroughly bukkaked with egg on his fucking stupid gay face. I'm sure Gareth's lot would have been just as happy with a load of Krispy Kreme doughnuts to stick their cocks into.

....or Parsley, they run a fair in Scarborough, and have a couple of sisters called Rosemary and...........Thyme. Oh, fuck it, who's going to call their useless cunt of a kid, Thyme?

Me 2.

They should be saying "Happier new year", because it can't possibly get any worse than last year, can it?

If the NHS wasn't so piss poorly managed by multiple layers of middle management that contribute fuck all to its core business goal, we wouldn't have to change fuck all about the way we live our lives now. Protect the NHS? Stop wasting fucking resources you cunts. And, is it me or does the NHS appear to be coming across ever so slightly left wing?

Don't tell me you went and consulted the rules only to discover they only went up to 13? You can admit that to us here, we're all friends and it's new year, new start.

What sort of damage do you think a sonic screwdriver would do to your colon when this poof holsters it in his rectum?

Are you suggesting Handy Andy browns up and converts to Islam to garner leniency?

I don't think you're in any position to critique another users post Ape. You've got to be the most un-original, boring and predictable wanker on here. Reported for breach of Rule #14, Being a boring cunt. ps. Happy new year.

Rattled........ Actually, very rattled. It sounds as though you've changed the product you clean your windows with and you've ingested too much. You window licking spaz.

Fancy yourself as a bit of an April Ashley, do you?

Alright mate. Calm the fuck down, you'll live longer.

You mean a 'Beadle-oscopy'.

This is about the only time I am in agreement with you, you fucking web footed bin dipper

Just curious @Wolfie, but does Dickless pick your shit up when you're out together or is he just interested in what goes in your arse hole? John Lowe is a cunt.

So fucking what. If I can't put it on my CV I'm not interested in the Leaderboard activity and besides, I've always gone for quality likes, not quantity likes from a load of spastics like Old Chap RatsCrack and PanzySpacker.

FFS Pen just how old are you? I had to reverse image search to find out this is 'One Round Lawson' from The Ladykillers, a film I imagine Neil is quite fond of.

Dickless is having a burial at sea as he currently lives on-one.

I'm totally sober this week, Ape as I'm on-call for work and might have to drive to a site. 2x bank holidays as well which means I'll be loaded come pay-day. Do you think I should join a golf club seeing as your boyfriend Punkape appears to have relinquished his membership now that he appears to be dead.

The conspiracy theorist in me suggests you haven't posted because you (and Ape) share some empathy with it, having both been blessed with nano-pricks so small that you might as well have a clam thimble in your pants. Fuck off.

What should have happened in a case like this is, after the first video of him punching like a fucking fairy, the force should have given him intensive boxing lessons so the next time he kidney punches someone he only needs to do it once. What a fucking embarrassment, he should have let the sow he was with have a swing instead.

From Sky News, "PM says up to 90% of people in intensive care have not had a booster". Well, fuck off Boris you cunt, you aren't writing strap-lines for a DFS sale, you might as well say up to 100% because that includes every fucking percentage below a hundred. This headline actually reads to me as, "at least 10% of people in intensive care have had a booster".

It was 86 years old when it finally died a woman, having started out life as a man. This is to blame for all those fluid sexual deviants who think it's a human right to decide what sex they want to be depending on what day of the week it is. I'm glad it's dead and it really should have bled to death about 60 years ago when they ripped the cock and balls from it. ps. Are you going to the funeral Pen?

I can only imagine you paid a similar amount of attention at school, which would explain why you come across as such a thick cunt from your posts on this website.