Dave Umbongo

Let's face facts, if you looked like that, the only way you could get girls would be by running your own massage parlour.

Zirconium?? FFS, I'm now expecting you to come back looking like a genetically modified Wolverine / Duane Dibley character.

I think slugs can. Hope it helps.

The bungalow is in a place with 'Thorpe' in its name. I'll leave it for you to guess whether it's Thorpe St Andrew, Thorpe Marriot, Burnham Thorpe or Thorpe Market but the most famous habitant was actually disabled too.

It's not a hamlet you twat and the only decent building there is the one built by Falstaff.

Are you bent?

I get it. You're saying you live in a shit-hole by the sea. Look on the bright side though, at least you'll be able to get your car washed for fuck all.

You sick fuck, what the fuck are you doing fantasizing about ProfB's bacon flaps.

I've replaced Super Noodles with the Maggi ones. One of the reasons being cost but the primary one is because they're produced in China so you also get a nice dose of heavy metals which I find enhances the effect of alcohol.

I think Denis still has his own teeth and not some replacement Turkish plastic ones.

I'm on the pond water tonight.

It's called Cunts Corner not Snowflakes Corner. Grow some fucking balls (like Pen, only not as big) and attack smarter using their weak points.

Isn't that where you live though?, just across the road from Caister dump......, sorry I meant household waste recycling centre. You fucking dozy cunt.

I take it you mean anywhere between California (cliffs) and Pakefield (Pontins)

I tried some of that Kopi Luwak once and it tastes like shit. You would probably love it Wolfie.

Don't you mean Porage Oats, you sweaty.

For Sale. Black leather beret. No longer fits owner. £3.48 ONO.

She looks a bit depressed.

Fuck off Marjorie. Fuck off Marjorie.

I think I've fallen into a time loop reading this. You fucking gormless (repetitive) cunt.

Caught this video on YouTube today of an incident that happened on 14th February. Needless to say it is classic "don't you know who I am". A top grade fucking fat cunt of the highest fucking order. I hope he loses his job, his home, his wife and kids just to see how much of a cunt this cunt has been.

Is it just me that thinks the COP26 conference in Glasgow will be a big fucking waste of time if Vladimir goes all nuclear on the rest of the world. Does anybody even know what the carbon footprint of a cruise missile is??

Slightly off topic but, does anyone else thinks David Lammy is a cunt.

I posted it in sympathy for one of your noms. , when you get around to actually nominating something, you tedious spaz.

From what I've seen on YouTube the Russians are quite happy to play dodgems on normal roads in their shitty Trabants and FSO's