Dave Umbongo

The new company I work for has changed the colouring on their logo to a rainbow theme for the month. The logo is a capital 'N' so to me it looks as though it stands for Nonce. Fucking shit ain't it?

You're up early Mong-boy, are you off to stand in the middle of a field twiddling with your joystick under the guise of flying your model Bloo Funder.

A wonky baking potato from Morrisons and some value beans from Tesco. I reckon you're having Toad in the Hole...., again, not to eat either - served by your boyfriend Wolfie, right up your shit-pipe.

That's the one. I'm sure this wouldn't have happened if Ape had used his engineering knowledge (yawn!) and a SNES controller rather than a Playstation one

Not Ape, Ape is the Titan equivalent of Sub-normal.

Really. I would like to leave you with an impression. An impression of a house brick in your stupid thick fucking skull, or a tin of value beans, I'm not fussed as long as its smashed to a pulp Fuck off.

You mean Andy Pansy.

You're assuming the 42 virgins are female aren't you? Spoiler alert, I'm a virgin if the dirty sand shufflers are talking bum sex.

You should have chosen the Mecca in Bradford or Luton for a more realistic chance of a payout.

Is it a picture book, or one of those Ladybird Easy Readers for thick cunts??

I only know of one recorded death in Mecca, an elderly lady who got over excited at getting a full house in the 2nd game of the evening. Fuck off.

It would seem the death of Jackie Collins was faked so she could continue her romantic prose undetected on this website. Who would have guessed.

It's father's day today, which one of your 'uncles' do you send your card to, you interbred, swamp-dwelling cunt.

When he couldn't get the velcro undone quick enough on the Tena's.

Dickless, you cunt. Did I hear you were emigrating to Canada to set up your own Deliverance style retreat for the more adventurous arse bandit? What's happened has the bottom fallen out of that prolapsed arsehole business.

Ape is half-Airwolf

Tell her you've noticed a cavity yourself that needs filling and you have some special fluid that'll do the job. You filthy fucking cunt.

No I fucking haven't, and I'll tell you why, about a month ago they started a fund to finance UK black start-up businesses, what a bunch of fucking hypocritical cunts doing shit like that off the back of flogging WHITE rum to chalkies.

Someone with my skills and experience doesn't get sacked, I got made redundant because some interim socialist management cunts didn't want me making them look dog shit. I was hoping to be out of work until the end of March but unfortunately I picked up a job, on more money at the beginning of February. I have been spending some of my redundancy money on booze like buying branded whiskey from a legitimate outlet rather than Abduls duty free ethanol from his 24/7 corner emporium. Abdul keeps telling me the loss of trade will mean he can no longer support his 3 wives and 14 kids.

Even she stinks now, I am told, of lavender, cabbage soup, deep heat and soiled Tena pants.

Man??? You fucking misogynistic cunt. Francis is a trans-man isn't he

Next time, don't be a stupid disleksick cunt and post straight to the open corner then, you fuckwit. Slightly, everso rattled.

If it's all the same to you, I'll post here. Only irons and poofs post noms straight to the Open Corner. No offence, you poof.

Tesla.

Dr Moseley was all too quick to live by his mantra of 'just do one thing' it would seem he was to preoccupied with just doing the one thing of putting one foot in front of the other to even consider a second, and probably more important thing when walking on a cliff top, what fucking direction he was going before he wandered off the edge.