Dave Umbongo

...in that case, have a couple of plums and a large banana.........., to go with the one you've already got. Lol

I'm having a bet that he'll last only slightly longer than that other fucking waste of carbon, skin and lard, Gemma Collins. If Gemma Collins and Fwank were standing in front of me and I only had one bullet, me and Fwank would be going for drink in the nearest bar. I fucking detest the useless, fat fucking slag.

A bunch of Cowboys built that bridge for the Indians, Kemosabe.

'Parabollock' arch, if you don't mind.

Halt dein verdammtes maul.

Beer festivals are for men so keep your appendage out.

I was there from about 11:45 to 14:45. I saw plenty of cunts but none so big they could possibly be you. And, £3.50 for a fucking portion of chips in Blackfriars Hall?? Fucking rip-off cunts.

Remember the Beer Festival tomorrow Dickless, I'm afraid they don't have a Gay Bar so where will you be drinking? I'll buy you a pint of 8Ace.

Pfank Pfuck Pfizer is the only one I've not had. 2x AZ and 2x Moderna and I've not had COVID once. What more proof do you need that these vaccines work.

Thursday, lunchtime. Just look for an angry looking Davros, I'll keep an eye out for a slightly effeminate socialist.

No, I'm saving myself for my annual visit to the Norwich Beer Festival. I want it on record that if I happen to bump into @Decimus whilst there I shall be bouncing his turnip head off of one of the pillasters in the cloisters. Cheers.

It's getting to the stage where the aliens seem like the 'normal' ones.

Unlike every Scottish national goalkeeper.

He probably gets haunted by the ghost of Ming every night singing 🎵Fwankie, do you wemember me. 🎵

I can still see stupid cunts though, so don't panic yourself.

I can summarise black history in this statement, "it's everyone else's fault for the way we are, and definitely not ours, The End."

The blasphemous cunt has apparently lost the sight in one eye after the stabbing. If there's any justice he's lost it in his good eye and not the lazy one.

Has anyone noticed that when one stupid cunt turns up on this sight (sic), another one shortly follows?

Half ten on a Sunday morning and you're pissed out of your brain, you gargantuan cocked freak.

You actually sound like one of the 'wife bitches' of one these stupid cunts having a bit of a moan about them, ergo, you are a bigger stupid cunt, you big stupid cunt.

Who said it was a 'her'?

How big is your fucking dog and have you been feeding it concrete?

Did you know she used to be a magicians assistant so has had previous experience with a wizards sleeve. That might be a clue as to the condition of the 'v'.

It's the wimminz rugby world cup causing a stir in my jockeys.

Fucking autococked strikes again. Obviously I meant door but, more importantly, do you think Cunstable Wolfie of the spelling police noticed.