Dave Umbongo

Better than being created from a chocolate coloured spunk bubble. How does it feel?

That fucking god sky fairy has got a weird sense of humour, why couldn't he make the swarthy cunts get mumps instead of measles then at least there's a chance it might make the fuckers infertile and stop them producing more vermin fuckers. Stop the dinghies.

Although, on a positive note at least the sex up the arse would alleviate some of the diarrhoea symptoms.

Pen?

The fact you had to ask leads me to believe that you're just as much of an easily offended, left-footed snowflake as the so-called geezer that got touched up by this half decent looking bird. If she touched me up on an escalator I would definitely be going up, I suppose you would be droning (excuse the pun, bloo funder) on to the BTP about how another hand, other than your own, touched your little joystick (excuse the pun, again) Fuck off you boringly predictable twat

I don't know what's up with blokes nowadays, I can only assume London is full of poofs like Fwank. https://news.sky.com/story/police-release-images-of-woman-sought-in-connection-with-sexual-assault-investigation-12869088?dicbo=v2-WzNMiwz

I'm personally hoping the anointing oil is carcinogenic and, I suppose it does make a pleasant change for a member of the church to be rubbing fluid on someone that isn't his own spunk.

If he was, he would be Leather Boy, which I think is officially listed as the worst super hero.., ever.

So, what you're saying is for every £100 maintenance paid it actually costs the dumb fucking twat (you) that got lucky with a pissed up slag on a night out, £120. And, the not particularly fussy, possibly blind and stupid slag has to pay £4.00. That's a fucking stonking 24% on top, how do I buy shares in the child maintenance service?

Exactly. What the fuck does this sub-human looking freak know about human rights.

That said, with Australia having a population of over a 1/3rd of the UK, you have only given us Barry Humphreys, Paul Hogan and perhaps Adam Hills. In the last 40+ years, that's fucking useless on my scale.

Roops, what's your take on this??

Never mind Wolfie, it's nearly 7pm on a Sunday evening and Family Fortunes will be on soon. Chill out and cheer the fuck up.

A Cyber-them, you sexist fucking cunt. You repulse me with your misogyny.

A sad day for sci-fi fans when the actual Doctor Who is weirder than the aliens it encounters.

I don't know about on TV, but certainly looks TV

You do know that once you take out the RTB and you own the property or lease you are responsible for sorting your own damp issues out and you can't blame the council for your poor lifestyle choices like drying clothes on radiators, showering with the bathroom door open and using a rice cooker without the lid on.

A flat?, they own naff-all apart from a piece of paper saying they can live within it for a few years. Only cunts, (ex)council scum and failures at life are leaseholders. I use Wilkinson's own brand paints for decorating, it's quality. What the fuck do you want to waste F&B paint on the walls of a shitty flat for anyhow.

I'm guessing you only use 'Crown' paints like any other king would. Fuck off.

"If it bleeds, we can kill them"

"Take your stinking paws off our money, you damned dirty apes"

Either those cans have shrunk or those hands are a bit on the large size, and what the fuck is that lump on the neck?

Ice, ice, baby. Finally joining Ming in the freezer.

You watched it then. I saw it was on while I was engrossed in something on another channel, and thought to myself, I bet that will attract the middle-aged pervs of society.

Bullshit. They don't fucking have libraries in Scotland do they?