Dave Umbongo

Fucking Canada! I knew he was fond of Withers and wanted to bum him but what's possessed him to go and find himself the North American equivalent??

I see there's much gravitas around the man who has been handed a 3 year sentence for punching a police officer. No doubt he'll be sharing a cell with the other man who was filmed punching a police officer at the airport the other week.

FFS, have you forgotten that you're no longer a maintenance worker after being admitted to the place and given your own suite over 4 years ago.

The chocolate star(fish), you dirty fucking homo cunt.

Alright cunts. I've been away because of a grassing cunt who couldn't take a good shafting with some intellectual banter. I won't name names but there's a whole planet of the cunts somewhere. What have I missed?

As simple is, simple does. Simpleton.

She's not going fucking shopping Ape, you thick cunt. What else is she going to 'buy'? You really have fucked this one up if you're demonstrating the intelligence of the typical Cornelia* supporter. (*Planet of the Apes)

I'd like to see you as the boxed-up cargo. Touche!

Don't be fucking stupid, ProfB wrote with a feather on papyrus when she and Fat Kazza were at school

It's probably the human shit on them.

My highlight is plod walking up to the pulverised metal shell and asking the passenger, "Hello mate, are you alright?"

You never see an Aborigine playing a Stylophone though.

You get a like for that name drop.

Do you want to borrow an outfit for the occasion? I have a stab vest which might prove a necessity.

Well technically it will appear empty until it's lights-up or if there's a comedic element to it and you can see a few sets of donkey teeth glowing in the darkness.

At least you can use the cone as a butt plug to stop your dinner running straight out of your over-stretched rectum.

Someone send a call out to ISIS. New target acquired.

Not bad, thanks for asking. I only had a bottle of Nethergate Old Growler - it actually reminded me of Roops' in some ways. I'm off out for a Saturday afternoon session later and hope to be back before the thunderstorms later. I don't recommend you fly your toy helicopters in a thunderstorm, try flying a kite instead.

And yet, you don't seem capable of following your own advice.

7,200 or 14,400 baud rate? Or should that be 'bored' rate.

We are talking foodstuff and not skin colour, aren't we?

Was, until new Labour let all the foreigners in unchallenged with their weird cultural ways. A Romanian family!!

I would say Trump has it in the bag now, especially now the confidential documents charges have been thrown out as well.

Rather apt that the Euro trophy isn't coming home but at least the England team can bring back a sort of symbolic trophy in the form of a load of bones, as they're coming this way. They've found Jay Slater.

The closest you get to one of those little boats is when someone sounds like they're calling you one.