Dave Umbongo

What about PMT to CJD? That's a bigger cunt in my opinion.

Hopefully most of the cunts on here will never need one of these and have done the decent thing by not infecting the human race with their genes, by making timely 'withdrawls' rather than 'deposits'. I'll get my cheque book.

These things are a bit of a cunt. The slightest hint of mechanical failure and it's pretty much curtains for all on board. At least with a plane you still have some uplift to defeat the effects of gravity when the thing fucks up.

Well it would certainly make my day if you didn't wake up at all.

The size of its cock.?

Congratulations. You've won the thickest post of the month. Your prize is to clean the disabled bogs after the Invictus Games have finished.

It's Mr BigBollox to you. You Web footed cretin.

Fuck off. If it's good enough for Cif and Daime, it's good enough for me.

......and given golf lessons and a model helicopter to play with??

I guess this does demonstrate that two wrong 'uns can make a right one.

Ah yes. They made the better cars......and bikes.

Just in time to play the villain in Peter Pan this panto season. Any one know which theatre in Luton?

Presumably your Autocorrect changed the nom. title from 'Private Golfclubs'?

I knew someone who had an Acclaim.

I'd love to peel that outfit off of her and, although she's the one with the gun, I think I'd be doing all the shooting.

You sound like a cunt. Fuck. What am I saying? What I really meant was, 'you sound a cunt.'

There's a grand total of zero mirrors in The Halls. You're probably thinking of the highly reflective finish on the stair lift down to the cloisters that you undoubtedly use, you spazmoid.

Do what I do. Ring the real police and tell them some cunt is aiming a gun at motorists. With any luck armed response will be sent out to tarnish their hi-viz vests with a splattering of their own blood. Interferring fucking parish councillors, school governors or magistrate twats.

I've been to the Norwich Beer Festival today Dickless. I saw an effeminate, socialist looking cunt loitering outside the gents bogs. Was it you?

Times have changed. I for one wholeheartedly agree that women and non-whites should be seen as equals and be sent off to fight in the next war. Right on sister! I'll stay here and do the cooking, cleaning and ironing.

Wiz, you lazy fucking cunt. The next time this despicable fucking slag-bitch kicks up a fuss, follow her and shove the fucking lump back down the stairs. That'll learn her to fucking whinge.

I would also add Swallows and Amazons to the list. I'm not sure what sort of sexual deviant would partake in an 'Amazon' but swallow doesn't need any explaining.