Dave Umbongo

You stupid fucking retard. Just buy a couple of 500mm long extenders and you can put them where you like.

A good suggestion other than the fact that within all these highly qualified engineers and doctors there are also numerous expert vets that would make James Herriot look like a trainee, apparently. Goat gynaecology a speciality.

Does anyone else think it's weird that a woman with batman in her name was once accused of 'Robin' from a charity? Fuck right off, cunts.

Oh fuck it, Happy New Year!, I have it on good authority David's middle initial began with an 'R'.

It's after 19:30, you antiquated AM/PM cunt. What have you got to say about that then? Have you been sniffing polystyrene cement again while building kids Airfix models?

Fr-Huw The Keyhole

No, I've got a brown one after muff diving a girl who just received an Alabama Hot Pocket. Enjoy your fucking tea. Lol

Don't forget riding on the back of actual talented comedians with the Red Nose Day shit.

Talking of act, did you catch the Jack Caroll CP cunt in Coronation Street last night - you know the 'comedian' that didn't win BGT - I guess he can't be that bad then. Anyhow, he can't fucking act for Diazepam, or toffee.

I sense an affiliation to Rosie's condition here, I've long suspected you're a dribbling fucking spastic too, can it be fact??

Well, it seems like Liverpool might get knocked off the top spot for the most 'Woe is me' location this year thanks to a tornado hitting Manchester. https://news.sky.com/story/uk-weather-live-updates-travel-disruption-expected-with-wet-and-windy-warnings-in-place-as-uk-braces-for-storm-gerrit-13038118 Where the fuck is Bob and Midge to organise a benefit gig to raise some funds to repair these hovels, we need to raise at least £120 to polish this pile of shit, in my estimations.

@King Billy thoughts?? and a pricelist from your dentist for a set of gnashers, Royal Doulton ones, obviously.

Fuck off Bloo Funda 🚁

Probably demonstrating how to get the legs of a goose out of the front of your jack boots without ripping your helmet off.

I was waiting for a couple to ping off and hit Laura squarely in the face......... improving her looks significantly.

I'm actually surprised they haven't retitled it to BBC Sports Themality

A totally reasonable nomination, if the teachers were doing their job properly rather than just issuing hand-outs or putting videos on, Ofsted wouldn't have to go around identifying all the shit ('requires improvement') schools full of shit teachers.

He looks like a young Prince Andrew, read into that what you will.

I caught the first half of MasterChef tonight and they were in a restaurant in Denmark which specialised in using the crap bodyparts that even KFC would bin, you know shit like cows udder, pigs wind-pipe, tongue.....🤮. I was somewhat disappointed they didn't have any cocks or fannies though as I would imagine Sean Pertwee would deliver, "Tom has flambéed a pigs cock with some lambs piss flaps in a squid ink jus", quite expertly.

The connection being both of the cunts are costing the UK taxpayer a shit load of cash............and they fucking smell awful.

Where was the father?? Out looting, mugging, raping or heavily involved in some County Line deal, no doubt.

It doesn't say what colour the policeman was.....you know..., for context.

Better than that Marcus Smith fucking helium-weight specimen of skin and bones with a floppy hairdo.

It's funny but I always imagined that your mates would have names like Leroy, Delroy or Kunte-Kinte. Fuck off

That's grim. Do you want to buy a parrot? You know, just incase the antibiotics don't work and they have to revert to Plan B.