Dave Umbongo

Don't people with depression quite often kill themselves rather than try and get publicity about their 'issues' on TV? Apart from that cunt on Jeremy Kyle who did both.

Like getting your moneys worth? Then forget about a Big Mac and fuck off to Wetherspoons with Ape instead where you can get free electric to charge your phone.

T probably stands for T-bone like that fucking twat Tommy Lee. The sheep are petrified of him, the fucking Welsh Worrier of sheep.

If people didn't then you wouldn't be here to post this nom. would you?, you stupid cunt.

I don't think we've been properly introduced. Who exactly are you?

Serious question Ape. Is model envy a thing, and have you been anywhere near Stamford recently?

Imagine if you got Ratcum mixed up with Rectum. What a pain in the arse that would be.

Now watching my best ever episode of The One Show featuring a teacher with Tourettes. It's fucking ace watching her swear while teaching kids. Shit, fuck wank toss!

From the brief snippets that I've been unfortunate to catch on TV the programme should be called WON'T pay, we'll take it away. As the people always appear to have labelled clothing, A smart phone better than mine, A bigger telly than me and a better Sky subscription. The fucking twats must think those sort of things are benefit necessities and therefore they deserve everything they get, and more.

Not when you're pissing, you don't.

No. But I wish it had been a chocolate milk shake. Tommy Robinson would have loved that.

You're quite correct of course. I'm afraid my knowledge of deviant gays isn't as good as some posters on here.

Sports gear! Panzy?

I thought Marc Bolan had the record as it was found in his stomach, which is quite impressive if it entered his body through his arse.

I'm abstaining from alcohol at the moment and substituting it with milk shake instead. The trouble is i don't always like to finish my milk shake and end up throwing it over anyone who's walking past. It happened twice recently, I think it was the same person as well. What are the fucking chances of that eh?

What do you actually know Ape, apart from the price of every supermarkets own brand beans and other boring shit like the the average fly time for 2500mah batteries on 92% charge

He shoots, he scores! Nerve successfully struck and rattled. Lol

I never thought of it like that, and it would be quite informative as a party slogan.

That's because any country that hosts this shit fest ends up losing a ton of money.

I think there is more respect for Roops if she did look it up. What type of boring cunt, other than yourself, would you have to be to have this knowledge on tap?

....besides isn't there something not quite as farcical happening in Europe tonight that will have a greater impact on our futures. That's right you bunch of cunts, Eurovision!

I'm voting for the Brexit Party to see how their elected MEPs get along with the rest of Europe and to see how vigorously they carry on campaigning as individuals when they will effectively be losing their own jobs when / if Brexit finally happens. To be entirely honest I'm pissed off with the whole thing and if somebody formed a Krusty the clown party I'd probably vote for that too.

Not one to diss the big ginger twats plans but it would be more important for his administration if they were English 'listeners' since pretty much every proposal that has been generated so far falls severely short of what one would expect from a super power, or something like that.

Creme bins are on sale in Wilko if that helps.

Your eloquent prose will only confuse the div even more. You should have just stuck to "you thick cunt"