Dave Umbongo

The speed at which you've changed your mind raises the suspicion that you are in fact, a woman. Or gay.

With language like that It suspiciously sounds the App you tried to update was something like Grindr.

30 fucking years ago he still had to heavily use air travel to shoot his documentaries. Now he's too old to get travel insurance, he doesn't want a younger upstart to takeover his mantle of the BBC's go to naturalist. Selfish cunt.

I expect to see WKD Blue and White Lightening flavoured yoghurt in Farm Foods shortly then.

.....flavoured yoghurt??? I don't know who the biggest cunt is here. Muller for coming up with the flavour or the stupid cunts who are going to buy it.

I'm still waiting for Ed Sheeran to get a MOBO. Fuck! He's been nominated 5 times but never actually won one. Fucking racist cunts. I bet there's no 'privileged' people on the judging panel.

These equipment monopolising cunts also seem to be the ones that think cargo trousers and construction work boots are suitable attire for the gym. Fucking idiots.

How many of the 866 people do you think are actual faggots? I reckon none, but they know someone who is, and would possibly be offended. The faggots would be watching Absolutely Fabulous or Mrs Browns Boys rather than this Gavin & Stacey bollox as it's not representative of society - no gays or darkies.

I must admit running does seem somewhat more desirable than driving a shitty Citroen Berlingo van.

So, crying men are cunts. Okay then, You cunt!

Did you read any of Saltys' posts?

Fucking Yanks are probably targeting the bingo hall on Aylsham Road in Norwich as we speak. Stupid cunts.

Never heard of the cunt but, having now read about him, I really like him.

I'm waiting for these terms to be flipped so that to be normal feels unusual. People start labelling Plain Jane's and Dull Derek's as Neuronormals, or Binarysex, or a Normaloid.

Dr BigBollocks recommends a dictionary. You're welcome. Next!

Jermaine isn't his real name its Wayne, which, coincidentally is also how he makes the Tartare Sauce.

I see Delboy Acorah will be starring in Most Haunted again.

Fuck their mental health, what about their sexual health seeing as football is a game for irons and bum boys.

Already done. I saw a dog making it the other day on the pavement of Barn Road. It's not an identical likeness to be totally honest but he's got the colour spot on.

Talking of fucking idiots i.e vegans of Norwich. I present to you Jordi Casamitjana (good old Narfuck name there), this fucking bean loving, tree hugger wants the vegetable fairy to be recognised as a god or something, to be honest I saw the word 'religion' and switched off.

There would be plenty to go round. The fat cow looks as if she could polish off a KFC bargain trough herself.

Talking of Idiots of Norwich. Whilst on the bus into Norwich this morning the bus driver wanted to spread a bit of goodwill to the homeless? (yeh, fucking right) guy at the bottom of Prince of Wales Road so he had previously brought a Gregg's Steak Bake for him but, upon giving it to him, the ungrateful cunt grunted, "No, I'm vegetarian". Wanker.

I bet you immediately shot your load after that happened. Filthy beast.

If your job is Ann Widdecombes' gynaecologist then I can completely understand this happening, if not, then i suggest you have a word with your mum and tell her you're not quite ready to move on from training pants.

I would have thought you would be all for this sort of thing with your country folks penchant for wearing checked skirts.