Dave Umbongo

He might have a wife or girlfriend that's already got the job.

You really ought to do the neighbourly thing and befriend this waste-of-space and suggest that next time they decide to self harm they knock on your door and you will summon the emergency services for them. Obviously you don't so you can sit there and watch the cunt die right before your eyes, it's got to be better than watching Love Island on the TV and your local paramedics will be grateful of your selfless act.

By 'defending' his own race (if you can call it defending, seems more of an attack on anyone different) he does come across as a racist cunt.

This poor cunt had mental health issues and was 'disabled' (although his football trophies behind him in his picture on Sky News website might suggest otherwise). I digress, the cunt is now dead, apparently having starved to death after his benefits were stopped and his fucking useless cunt of an immediate family are looking for someone to blame having failed so spectacularly themselves as "family" members who should have stepped in and looked after him in the absence of UKGov taxpayers and the welfare state. You let him die, you bunch of cunts.

Back on topic. I've just about seen enough adverts for this little, apprentice poofters TV show. I want it dead. Fuck! I can't upload pictures on the site so you'll have to Google the little cunt yourselves. It goes by the name of Reuben De Maid.

I knew this girl in my younger days with the surname Parsons who had a bit of a reputation for shagging anything and everyone. Guess what we called her? That's right, Knickerless Parsons. What a hoot! She was from Norwich too.

Joey...........Deakin!

Are you sure it's not her 'spam head' that's the attraction for you. Admittedly the overall assembly of her face makes her very doable, but her forehead makes her look like a female version of Dec from those two little fucking annoying Geordie cunts.

And they're even charging the gentleman with murder just for taking the trash out. If there was any justice Paul Fitzgerald would be awarded points which would count towards his parole hearing for early release. Recognising a wrong-un means he can be rehabilitated back into society in my book..

He's clearly got 'short-arse syndrome' the shouty little cunt just because he doesn't get his own way. He reminds me of Spoilt Bastard from Viz.

It's a real pity she's actually Norwegian - Scottish then.

I bet he's the sort that would give them AIDS seeing as he looks as if he'd make an extremely good extra for Planet of the Apes without any additional make-up.

X-Factor? More like perverse, paedo Sex-Factor. Apparently this wonky nosed fuck weasle is a paedo. I wondered why Simon never let him meet Eric.

Thanks King. I've now got a mental image of the gurning, toothless, slaphead of a co-presenter, Phil Spencer riding her around the bedroom of a shitty 2 up - 2 down semi in Walthamstow, and this close to teatime aswell. Yuk!

It's funny how much of leg up you get in life just for having a Lord for a dad. The situation reminds of the sly old slag, Deborah Meadon who only made money after she ripped her own parents off through the sale of their holiday business.

To be honest, this is the only place I feel included. Don't ruin it by making it look like I'm any different to anyone else on this site.

Presumably you mean Shaun? As you're in Planning, can you explain why the fuck they haven't even started building any houses on Pinebanks yet? Have a pleasant journey to work and watch out for the beet lorries turning in to Cantley.

Mines like my clock face. IV

Say hi to Shaun and Karen for me. He's your boss now isn't he? Don't worry I'll put in a good word for you next time I'm round theirs for dinner in Spixworth.

6x car nudge. Its headline news in the EDP, the article goes on to mention the make and model of all cars involved but it doesn't describe the feckless fucking morons behind the wheel of each car whose moment of daydreaming completely ruined your journey to your worthless job at the bottom of Harvey Lane.

You mean like in that famous game "zero's" and crosses?

They're Noughts. Are you continental and American?

Bullshit. Got any pix?

Not exactly in the same realm as the all time classic nom about Roundabouts so dont get too disheartened.

Wankers who spend £400+ on a cycle and then struggle to put air in the tyres or adjust cables etc.. Just seen some spaz carrying a single wheel to Evan's Cycles so they can perform some miracle and relieve this wanker of some dosh. Now unless he's getting a complete replacement wheel there's no need to do this since any real man can replace or adjust bearings, change a tyre & tube or true a wheel. I guess it might be a fashion or social class thing as the cunt also had a sprog called Dominic.