Dave Umbongo

Welcome back Scrotes. Are you in lockdown too or is the French charisma mixed with garlic and BO enough to ward Wong-flu off.

I bet you had the right hump after that.

They are a world power when it comes to answering the telephone.

Was he gay? Cycles, no sorry..., I meant rainbows are usually associated with the limp of wrist chutney ferrets.

Talking of her eyes, I would give her one up her brown one.

And the BBC seem to think it's okay to send the humanoid zippy character that is Ross Kemp into frontline hospital zones to watch people dying and spread a bit more of the bat-flu around. Cunts of the highest order. And the most convincing thing that Zippy's ever done was Extras, in fact I bet even Eric would be able to kick shit out of him without his usual arsenal of weapons.

Looks like the UK is heading for the biggest death count as a result of Wong-flu. As it seems to have a disproportionate affect on the darker shaded members of society I don't see that as a necessarily bad thing and it's good to see the UK leading the way again. Rule Britannia!

How are you managing without your weekly carry out and one of Stavros' kebabs?

Perfidious Albion.

Liked for racism and religious bigotry.

He's got to be a cunt with a name like Keith. Floyd, Harris, Lemon. All cunts.

Who the fuck would form a band thats named after the key component of a sanitary towel??

Your chances of winning the lottery are about the same as you getting run over by a car and the doctor NOT putting Covid-19 on your death certificate.

I personally think he would get more votes if he used the bleach on his hair (and skin) instead - it didn't do Paddy McGuiness any harm the other night.

Surely the best way to ingest is via an enema. It avoids the liver and therefore the bleach effects are diminished. Yanks should be buying bleach and a length of hosepipe.

I demand to see your birth certificate because I don't believe you've been classified as human.

You fick cunt. His carer also happened to be his son, so he would get to see the death certificate.

A state run one obviously since I don't think you have amassed much of a fortune on your universal credit to pay the extortionate fees of private care homes.

He might stand a fighting chance of keeping them out if they're nearly at deaths door on arrival.

And she did apparently attend school., alright it was a Northern school where she was probably taught to drink pints, smoke tabs, knock out bairns and do your own tatts.

When its boiled does it become sterile, like the white poodle shit from years ago?

Nikki Fox.

No he's not. He's an especially stupid sunshine bus spastic, and I'll give you a fiver if you get him to say so.

I personally hope he gets something that makes all his hair fall out first. Should be quite amusing to see, but no less ridiculous than his current Elite Singles profile.

If a few more of your brain cells were firing you might come up with some amusing reposte sometimes.