Dave Umbongo

So does the poop chute. What exactly are you trying to tell us here?

Sky news reports 140 migrants were intercepted trying to cross the channel and get into Britain on Friday, the highest number in a single day. Some lesbian, snowflake slut says they are fleeing danger in their own country!! May I remind Ms Snowflake that we are leading the European league for deaths from Covid-19 so what makes these rag heads and darker people think they'll be safer here than, oh I don't know, Germany??? Fucking scroungers after our benefits when we have enough indigenous sorts like Pansy.

Punkers, give this floppy haired cunt some tips to garden uphill as it would seem he's doing something wrong.

So you were awoken by the Dawn Chorus. You're right, it is a fucking pain in the arse and should be killed.

unless you're a Harry Potter looking geek, you haven't got a chance. I can only assume she likes to dominate her 'man', being a Kraut, that is a strong possibility.

I remember Trump saying something about the virus not liking light. It must apply to skin tone as well.

Sky News are now reporting that the ONS states that black people are 4 times more likely to die of Covid-19 than white people. Now if you wanted to have a phased relaxation of the lockdown, based on risk, it would follow this order, 1) white women 2) white men 3) Asian women 4) Asian men 5) black men 6) back women 7) Old cunts that will probably die soon anyhow.

If we're talking kids cartoons then Tom and Jerry must be the most violent thing out there.

If you want a decent film try The Acid House. The new born baby that Coco Bryce transfers into after getting stuck by lightening reminds me of Neil, especially when the little cunt is having one off the wrist in his cot! Hilariously disturbing though!

The Professionals or The Sweeney.

After a bit of googling I presume Tim Burton is some sort of car geek. Another nom. you might be interested in Tronald is the one at the top of the page titled 'Too many useless non-cunts'

Already was a cunt with a name like Neil.

there's a suspicion that your massage parlour wasn't the 'all inclusive' provider of services that the snow flakes of society wanted. Did you cater for the deviants of society that prefer to smoke cock or are undecided about which gender they associate with today? Could be why Punkers doesn't embrace your business acumen.

Was this the same year Freddie Starr died? If so, it might have been food poisoning.

Well the Professor of Bumfoolery, Neil Ferguson, has really buggered up this time. It would seem he's happy to break his own lockdown rules and allow his lover to visit to get a dose of Covid and AIDS. Getting found out must have been a right pain in the arse. What's his handicap Punkers?

Baked. paging @Ape™️

Are the characters on your keyboard covered in so much jizz that this is the amount letters you can type before having to decontaminate your hands or something? Even people in the gutter need to aim higher occasionally.

Apparently they're still operating but utilising 'contactless' transactions only.

We have a winner!

Let's try some psycho analysis with the following question that even Punkape can answer, You've got to bum fuck one person to save the planet and your choice is either Jeremy Corbyn or Piers Morgan? (You can pick both if you want Punky.)

You've got me there. And, I don't reckon Piers has any trouble with other people social distancing themselves from him. I feel uncomfortably close to the cunt if I'm watching BBC2 or Channel 4 in the morning.

A silver lining has materialised from all this doom and gloom, Piers Morgan has had to have a Covid test because he's feeling unwell. Let's all pray for him, and I mean that the stupid cunt gets an express trip to meet Old Nick.

Well my advice would be, if you don't regularly want to meet and get to know people that will shortly die on you, don't get a fucking job wiping some decrepit old cunts arse in a fucking care home. It's a stepping stone for the funeral parlour FFS. The fucking charity adverts really get my fucking shit steaming and top of the list at the moment is the cycling ninja, half caste slaphead from the Children with Cancer advert. What a condescending fucking prick.

What's up Divvers? Have you realised you can't make foie gras by feeding them your own jizz.

You mean same sex domestic abuse?? If you ask me same sex relationship is abuse, sexual abuse!, unless you happen to be talking about a couple of lesbians in which case carry on. Phowarrr!