Dave Umbongo

Does this 'friend' still use lead based paint? It would explain the crackpot paranoia.

Shut up! I'm trying to sleep.

They'll get jobs in the potting shed with Big Roger.

£29 is a fair price for a wheelie bin, especially if you want to use one as a portable water butt.

Presumably an old 8 cylinder lambo engine as what sort of cunt would you have to be to strip the cylinders out of the Audi V10. I'm surprised you only found one broken piston ring though.

The local crematorium after you've been slid into the oven. You'll get a bit hot and the other CC members will be waving you off.

You can't lie, not in God's gaze. If you get an invite to the funeral make sure you stand at the pulpit and tell the congregation exactly how you remember the snivelling, Crawley bum licker otherwise you'll be destined for hell, and you wouldn't want that, well I wouldn't as that's where I plan to end up and I'd rather not risk bumping into an old boring cunt like yourself while I'm there.

I'm fucking good at my job but I'm also a clever cunt so I do 'just enough' to make the boss think I'm the dogs bollocks. I always wait for others to point out how hard I've worked, cunts who point it out themselves are a lazy fucking waste of space and have got something to hide, in my learned opinion.

Is he a relative of the deceased??? If not, stop posting his gargling bullshit songs.

"m'retarded colleagues"

Are you 82 then? I honestly thought you were older.

He died 'Young'. I'll get my anorak.

That's better. There's nothing worse than somebody who pretends, badly.

You mean POTENTIALLY libellous since libel, in the UK at least, is civil law and needs to be judged in a court to be proven. Neither you, I or anybody else is in a position to determine something libellous. Here endeth today's lesson.

I can understand your fondness of Fwank, after all they say like things attract with Fwank being a geriatric, spangly legged, washed up cunt of the highest calibre. But why do you like Gyps?

Presumably a mask will be part of the normal outfit, you wouldn't want to scare the fish. Fuck off.

If I was you I would say you've got a bit of sunstroke rather than admit that you've been a bit of a dozy cunt.

'Shot' his load up the beaters brown eye?? Your sort disgust me.

I've currently got a pair of women's crotchless knickers on back-to-front, why? you raving fucking homo.

So are you a shooter* or a beater* *pitcher *catcher

Keep up Ape you dozy cunt. Brighthouse went into administration at the end of March. I know because I read the FT.

Boring Wanker.

I can see why the bride would need to wear a Covid mask when being transported down the aisle....., to stop all of his spunk running back out of her mouth. Pure fucking filth.

Anyone mentioned Grime yet?, especially that stupid racist cunt Wiley.

Only if the lips were blue as well.