Dave Umbongo

I'm pacing myself for watching the women's 6 nations rugby later today, some of those girls make Sam Smith look desirable. Have you ever played rugby, Pen?

I bet you fiddle with another kind of meter though, the metre long love rod hanging between your legs. Lol

What about your massive Japs eye on your massive shlong. "Don't make that angry, you wouldn't like it when it's angry"

'Scrotes cannot help but reference his unnatural relationship with his geese and other beasts when he posts on here. I made the assumption that he would enjoy the company of sailors as he has always struck me as a raving fucking homosexual as well. I hope that clears things up.

a) why have you displayed, what appears to be a chromed butt plug on the desk and, b) please congratulate the accommodation on the selection of bin - much better than the creme plastic Addiss variety that seem to be favoured by poofters and Francis.

Hi Ape, I'm after a bit of advice, is it safe to use water out of the tap to wash my car with consideration that it's supplied by Anglian Water and probably has more traces of shit in it then my toilet bowl after 6 pints of Guinness and a vindaloo? I will also add that the car is a Renault so covering it in shitty water isn't generally going to distract the attention from the piss poor French engineering and etch-a-sketch design features. Thoughts?

Why would you even want to look at a cock encrusted with goose shit and smelling of garlic from the saliva of French sailors??

Reported. You know it's extremely racist to use three consecutive words in a sentence that start with the letter 'K'

We know you're not multi-ethnic or even child bearing at your age, I wouldn't be so hasty to discount the rest though.

One less in the competition for @King Billy knocking shop empire.

I'm beginning to think you might be the reason they're in a hurry to leave France. Are your geese on their period or something?

To be honest, I really couldn't give a fuck about the adults, they have the agency to make a stupid fucking decision themselves. Children don't, and are just following their thick as fucking shit parents into a dinghy that any sensible person wouldn't even trust to get them across a deep puddle. If I was on a boat with my kids I would drown trying to make sure they lived, which just goes to show how fucking selfish the parents are. Absolute cunts.

I was watching some BBC coverage live from a shitty beach in Calais showing about 40 swarthy cunts getting in a dinghy and heading out to sea while about a dozen Froggy police just stood there smoking a Gitanes and shrugging their shoulders. We're paying the wages of these lazy cunts, what have you got to say for yourself @Witheredscrote

What do you reckon are the chances of the winners of the elite races making it back onto the plane to fuck off home.

They should have let the cunt cross the road and stood their watching him get pummeled while quietly muttering, "I told you so, you fucking know-it-all Jewboy cunt"

More importantly, how is he going to raise the trophy when he wins and, @Frank this one is specially for you, how does he (you?) hold his cock when he takes a piss?

Fucking right on sister, what the fuck does Gobby Yorath know about sport anyhow.

It's only a matter of time before Schofield becomes the host of Songs of Praise then.

Sausage Land. Sounds like a place Francis would frequent.

I will be very disappointed if the times of the runners don't improve significantly with Khan the Kunts efforts to reduce carbon emissions from vehicles in the city. The air must be as clean as the air outside Swamp Dickless in Norfolk.

That's all we 'Kneed', another dead black man.

A gimp.

One, fully open and psideways on and, I'm always psober you pstupid cunt.

Yes, I had a Psion Series 3 but if you would engage your ancient brain for 30 seconds you will realise it was the HP iPAQ pocket PC that sounded the death knoll for the Psion which in turn was well and truly wiped out when smart phones hit the scene.

Gender aside, I'm curious to know what category you would determine yourself to fall into, human or animal?