Wolfie

On 07/04/2017 at 11:53 PM, Eric Cuntman said:

She hates him because he's got fat legs and his mouth smells of Simon Cowells bellend.

I suspect quite a few men have the same breath. Surprising, really, when you consider Cowell is obviously straight and completely not gay in any way.

1 minute ago, Rick_B said:

I also haven't used Windows at home since XP. In the last few years I've been using Linux Mint, before that Suse, Centos and Mandrake. Distros like Mint are easy to use, although it still helps if you know a bit about what's going on "under the bonnet". Earlier ones were hard work at times, I never did get sound to work properly on Mandrake 9.

Thanks for this, Rick. I was about 1/3rd into your comment, but then I decided my lunchtime was better spent having a brisk wank.

The ungrateful cunt should consider himself lucky he wasn't on flight MH370.

24 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

Well it was the middle of the Second World War and luxuries like soap and warm water were in limited supply so that goes without saying. Also it was pre-90's so they would have all looked and smelled like Bin Laden's beard down there, too...

There was no need to ration crab paste in those days.

'Nissan replaces Qashqai with all-new Crashcow launch.'

4 hours ago, Mike Hunt said:

Putting on pedant's hat... 

Actually, Mary Banilow didn't write "Mandy"...it was originally written by Scott English who called it "Brandy". There was another song that Scott English wrote which would have been far more appropriate for the shirt lifter, aptly namely "Bend Me, Shape Me". 

Well-done for recognising the obvious irony in my comment, Mike. I pray you and Rick don't inadvertently meet on a night out because police wouldn't be able to cope with the drugs, hookers, booze, noise, complaints and cars in swimming pools as a result of the ensuing chaos.

12 minutes ago, Rick_B said:

Why do they think the best time to mow the grass is 7am Sunday morning, especially the retired ones who could do it any time?

With an avatar mirroring your hedonistic lifestyle, I'm amazed you'd actually be tucked up in bed at 7am on any given Sunday.

Just now, Wizardsleeve said:

After which he gave Barry a handy....

I think you mean hanky, given the size of his fucking beak.

22 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said:

I think "Mandy" should be renamed "Andy!"  Fucking poof!  

Baz originally composed it about a cowboy named Randy, with whom he had a holiday romance on Copacabana beach.

4 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said:

Christ on bike, punkers must be glow in dark high viz orange all over if your theory is correct, as is your hand old boy.

I suspect his arse could assist NASA shuttle navigation in the event of equipment malfunction.

1 hour ago, Punkape said:

At my school the "matron" used to inspect our cocks as we left the showers. She was buxom and comely and if anyone got aroused she would whack our members with a wooden spoon......

I imagine the wooden spoon was awarded for the smallest cock. You've got a drawer full of them in your council flat kitchen, haven't you?

There's only one Brexit porn on my mind.

52 minutes ago, Rick_B said:

Normally I can see some good in most people, but Kevin Rowland is the exception. His "music" was shite and he's a dickhead.

https://antmelder.files.wordpress.com/2014/01/121963-a.jpg

You probably don't want to click the link.

At least you didn't spend time searching for the image above, Rick. Isn't technology wonderful, when you can easily drag and drop things from your desktop?

Just now, Snatch said:

She's probably throwing up on a daily basis though.

One glimpse in the mirror is all it takes.

On 02/04/2017 at 2:52 PM, nobgobbler said:

Agreed. When you take fat and sugar out of food it ruins the flavour and texture. Just enjoy it, don't be a fucking pig, and move your arse.

Similarly, many are obsessed with being skinny and losing too much weight, because they've been taken in by the health food industry and believe being super-thin is good for you. Along with exercise, food is one of life's pleasures to be enjoyed. Take Victoria Beckham, for example. I bet she thinks she looks stunningly radiant and healthy, when in reality, looks like a corpse who takes a dump once every few months.

1 hour ago, nobgobbler said:

Micky Dolenz was a proper ugly cunt. Bet he hasn't aged well.

You're right, he hasn't.

On 01/04/2017 at 8:27 PM, Ollyboro said:

The two highest profile lezzas at the moment are probably Clare Balding and Nicola Adams. Now I've investigated lesbianism to an unusually in depth degree and know what they like doing. They enjoy wearing lingerie, pissing in one another's mouths, using huge dildoes on each other and letting passing plumbers watch them through a window, before impaling them orally, vaginally and anally with a 12" cock. How could that possibly happen with Balding and Adams? It's bound to put any bloke off his stroke if one lezza has got a bigger cock than him and the other one could knock the fuck out of him.

While I don't doubt Balding can hit hard, I'll wager Adams has taken more abuse around the ring.

3 hours ago, Witheredscrote said:

In the Kingdom of Bhutan they insert pieces of goat cheese into the cracks in the pavement. They are fucking mad.

I'm sure Punkape can add to this, as the site's resident crack-insertion expert.

23 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

She was fully hot when she used to do Saturday morning telly, a bit like the black leather clad Sally James from Tiswas.

She'd better lock her back doors tonight, seeing as Pansy 'de beast' is out on the prowl.

10 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

On the subject of shit DJ's... What's the similarity between Sarah Greenes' legs and Sarah Greenes' cunt?.............................They've both been fucked by Mike Smiths chopper.

The older form looks like a semi-hot version of Teresa May.

17 hours ago, Panzerknacker said:

Mm...I'd a good day alright 7 mile run and now I'm going boozing and womanising. .pen n gyppo better stay home tonight. .de beast is loose and he's hungry baby 

Panzerknacker 

Wherever you decide to womanise Pansy, I hope for the sake of everyone here the defibrillator isn't working.

25 minutes ago, Panzerknacker said:

You've far too much time on yer paws wuggy baby. .take a walk. .enjoy the day drink wine eat cheese. .absorb the beautyness of the world

Panzerknacker 

It's a deal – as long as you promise to enroll on a GCSE English class for cantankerous old farts.