ratcum

How did we manage before we had 'epicentre'? I'll tell you how Fast Eddie, we just had the fucking centre. When my Aunty Vi entertained drunk US servicemen, she said "aim for the centre love and let nature take its course".

Does the Pope shit on bears? Football's as gay as a rim side seat at a pink oboe recital

Scotty's right, peephole bras for senior girl guides makes perfect sense. In fact Brownies should only make fudge brownies, and guides should show us where they've hidden them

RIGHT THAT'S IT! This is so far into the homo spectrum, it's practically Match of The Day. FUCK OFF ERIC

BBC website has an item on downward mobility and lack of employment opportunities for graduates. Their sob story examples? Two teenage pregger types, who then went on to get Degrees in (1) Media and Cultural Studies and (2) Criminology, you know the one that isn't Law, Psychology or any of the useful forensic subjects like Molecular Chemistry or Etymology. FUCK 'EM I SAY. FUCKING USELESS CUNTS

Fuck have you been duped by this bastard's media campaign CB. It only appears in ammonia and Nitric acid due to the efforts of others. It's the same with nitrates used by all plants. Fucking bacteria have to either snatch it out the cunting sky or from rotting dead stuff. The whole so called 'Nitrofuckingen bicycle is a con.

you pan galactic homo Eric

Some Nissan GTRs have nitrogen in their tyres but I think that's something to do with Japanese being smaller in stature than westerners

Greville Janner?

Micrometer screw gauge? Vernier calipers?

For a sofa loving cunt, this is an excellent riposte. I may have lasagne later

This is also a good nom because the workshy scrounger that is gaseous nitrogen has been a burden for millennia. It's makes up 79% of the air around us but contributes nothing by way of health, culture or the arts

Too true Ape. I'd only trust this cuntery if M & S did it, or if Tesco's Finest Nitrogen appeared at the pumps

Well you're missing out Killer. Eating your own scabs is, in my inflated opinion, a form of restorative justice. If I'm in really good spirits, I scratch a few off and slip them to my cat, Dirlewanger.

Come on you cunts! Next you'll be saying none of you have picked and eaten a scab

They do realise she's quite old don't they?

I have a position to maintain Zorbs. We both do. But like WW1 aces, we can still be chivalrous

stay a while Bouzouki

Eric's alright Bubbly. Describe his transgressions to me

Good old Frank; something for everyone

I knew they ate dog over there, but as for fucking them...

Blunt guarding horses is fucked up.

The queen is a dirty cow. My Aunty Vi used to work security at the palace, disguised as a corgi. Everyday she had to squeeze into this ridiculous dog costume, and then get blamed for any farty smells eminating from The Queen Mother.

No, just a cunt of some sort. Comes from somewhere

Frank reminds me of one of those flexible endoscope cameras; clever but you wouldn't want to take a selfie with it