ratcum

I have a normal size anus

see me after prep boy

You don't know your imperative from your pluperfect Nacho. You're dead to me

I'm convinced that Eric is incarcerated. He strikes the as the sort who might take pigeon fancying too far

I might have shagged your nan Stubbler, thinking it was my brother's sister. Sorry

you should produce a staff handbook Deco

Prestatyn sands as well. It used to be scouse vermin, these days it's cunts who've collected vouchers from The Sun for a £9.99 holiday

this new dirty Pen doesn't fool me. Someone has to work the caravan parks on the North Wales coast

Excellent. Geoff Hurst will get the bimillennial racist lumberjack award

Comment of The Week to New Wave Monkey

you want me don't you Jewdy? Well I'm up for it

That Holly and that Ivy When they are both full grown Of all the slags that are in the town Fackin Holly bares her crown At the rising of her bum and the cumming of a queer Then playing with her hairy organ Which Jimmy Savile did for years

I'm sporting a natty pair of moleskin breeks this morning Twatty Name. They'll cut a sporting dash on the high street and no mistake.

death to this '@ratcum' interloping dog and all his little pixie followers

I loved Cheggers Plays Pop. The episode where Maggie Philbin's cherry went 'pop' was never broadcast.

Yes and he headfucked Garth Crooks on live TV

Get a photo of Garth Crooks and I'll kick your fuckin tits off

and Geoff Hurst

Blame Geoff Hurst

Imagine if an Australian band copied The Australian Pink Floyd but with shite American accents eh Smach? I can't believe it's not butter

I like to act out Operation Barbarossa but refuse to dress up as a tank

Cover bands are for the working classes only Neil. It's what they're used to from working men's club in between games of bingo and the meat draw. I'd machinegun their benefits fattened arses to buggery

a Geoff Hurst in the woodpile

A pair of Stilgoes and you've got nothing little man

On the BBC website: "Try Nigella's sticky toffee pudding" Fucking hell!