ratcum

had Geoff been in?

Frau Rat's dumplings are legend and don't need you taking a cheap shot at them

I picked up one of those gossip shit mags in the GP surgery the other day Lupo, and I'm proud to report I didn't know a single cunt in there. Not one.

Good call. I will observe from the mons pubis if that's alright?

People ask me where I stand on nuns Wizzo.

Rat Junior travelled on something called Megabus Lupo. I had to have him fumigated and boiled when he got home. Later the family agreed that he should be destroyed

He was being ironic Jewdy. Or just a bit twatty I suppose

good one Jewdy

Oi Luke, did you hear about the Irish puff who wanted to get into organic farming? He'd heard they reared everything by hand

bisque slapper

what was your mum doing there?

That would do it. You mad cunt

Any war is good Scotty. Best start with Liverpool though eh?

fuck me that's qualitah Authoritah

no but he failed to notice all the carnival floats that subsequently ran him over. I was on the 60s abortion themed float. We blew up a load of pink marigolds, painted little faces on them and pulled them out of a fat sex doll.

A Rabbi down our road dropped 2p

I don't expect I ever will, but if for argument's sake I was measuring shit, I fail to see how any of it could end up on your chest.

fuck off Eric

Grotto, there's hordes of these stumpy humour slayers massing at our northern border. Disguised as men or even highland cattle, the chowder slurping gorgons are all vying for a slot (see what I did there?) on Sassenach TV

dirty sausage

It's at this point that he and Judaism took separate paths. I don't think on Call The Midwife they should be helping so many slags give birth Punkle. In reality they would have gone to the coat hanger lady or my Aunty Vi

I will attack you using scabby ovaries for being an admin running dog CB. Call the midwife while you still can

White people enjoying themselves

Nazi filf

Fry (and other funny poofters) have done more for Bovril pole dancing than decades of your Jeremy Thorpes and Oscar Wildes. As my Aunty Vi used to say: "Ratty, if we were meant to be fucked by some cunt sneaking up behind us, we'd all be Alsatians.