Chimps are superior to Royals in almost every way. They live in a hostile environment and receive no mandatory stipend from the public purse. I reckon they could get better 'A' levels than any of the Royals and would never choose to dress up as Hitler.
He's our small town, parochial rant-merchant Wiz, and neither of us would have it any different. Without him, I would have gassed the whole of Salford.
For the fine residents of Peterborough there's always Cock Dogging. Participants take their cockerel to a secluded carpark, where people who are not familiar with the bird, engage in lewd acts with it.
Genius CB.
Also, your Rollerball has got me thinking of "Rotherball". Imagine that well known meltdown retard, once of this very site, being killed over and over again.
Instead of the separate barbaric 'sports' of dog fighting and cock fighting, why not simply combine them?
'Dog cocking' would involve dogs strapped upright to little trolleys, with their peckers facing outward like a knight's lance. The trolleys would be radio controlled and the audience could strangle cockerels whilst watching. Much less stress for the animals and RSC approval to boot!
Rat