The mods on here are not blessed with the rococo intricacies of ironic cuntdom Swarms. Some of the antediluvian swine thing I actually want to destroy sofas and other long upholstered seating. Do I sound like a barbarian to you?
Where the fuck have you been CB? We've all been grieving on here and taking care of arrangements for Frank's funeral. Maybe you could do the food you always get after the send off. Frank liked racist ginger nuts if I remember rightly.
I happen to know your eldest child is 25 and a woman, so good luck there old friend. As for Mrs D, whenever I've visited (usually when you are away) I just put some Vangelis on the gramophone.