ratcum

Aborted twins walk into a bar. The barman says "Who let you out then?"

Two aborted twins slip into a bar...

I hope he goes on Children in Need

working undercover during the war, my Auntie Vi was one of the first agents to smuggle food out of Auschwitz. "Well, they say less is more eh Ratty"

I'd never thought of ratdislikes as a currency before Authoritah. Is Lady P dead?

True indeed Wizzle. but with the fat in those ankles taking so long to melt, loss of structural integrity would have been easier to predict. If you light a candle, the cunt doesn't just go woof and fall over.

I reckon with those ankles at its base, the Twin Trade Towers would never have come down

it's nothing personal you understand

I agree Bill. It's fucking dreadful like the liberation of Auschwitz was fucking dreadful

our lass? our lass?? Is this some sort of ghastly Northern thread?

the Irish must die Deco

I was sad to hear one of The Chuckle Brothers had died. I was even more sad to hear the other one was going to carry on

Indeed Authoritah. I have it on authoritah that many women in the later stages of labour expel both in copious amounts.

genuinely funny leave this site and never come back

the poor cunt told me Nazis were taking over Walthamstow and he was going off the fight them Scrotals. Turns out it was just a new branch of Aldi.

how's tricks Jewdy?

I'm still waiting for Ringo to get the recognition he deserves: utterly talentless but copped off with the best bird

30 seconds on the BBC news website. Anthony Zurcher on about Rosenstein, then Bernard Lever letting some cunt off with a suspended sentence. I scroll down to see skank Julianna Margulies grinning at me.

what about a good old fashioned poofter, like John Inman? Probably the most appropriate surname for a homosexual ever, Inman...in man

genuinely funny please close the labia on your way out

I will rise from the ashes, like a phoenix, ..well, a rat

yeah, you know...caramel refluxers, Bovril bobbers, dung divers

I was hoping Vlad would accidentally novichok the whole fuckin lot of them Deco. The sooner we admit the Russians are doing more to stop IS/ISIS/ISL/House of Frazer than we ever could, the better. Okay they're propping up kasbah rocker Assad, but that's better than Johnny extremist.

Jiggeroony? Jiggeroony? Just how long have you two toffee jousters been an item then?

incidental tart