ratcum

that woman who fucked a schoolboy on a plane was shockingly plain herself. So much so, I reckon she was previously a policewoman.

I agree Grotto. The cell Cosby has to live in should be exactly the same size as the fannies he's had his unwelcome fingers in.

imagine being strapped to Hans Zimmer, the German film score composer?

The Dutch remind me of the Saudis.. ..except for the oil, capital punishment, corporal punishment, servant beating, obsession with shiny things, letting down fellow arabs like The Palestinians, disenfranchising of women, racism towards foreign workers, sand and general shiftiness.

even a cod has the sense to only get battered once

that's fucked up Authoritah I'd rather bend over in Brighton than discuss Uganda with Frank

rural Irish catholics are still breeding Grotto, so stop moaning. You only have to feed the bastards potatoes.

he's an ugly clog-faced droog Mr Quiff. Why aren't gross aberrations like him strangled at birth?

Befriending Frank is like frenching a labrador's snatch; okay after 8 pints until you get shat on

you cannot kill what does not live

I see some Irish dude has defaced a bit of Auschwitz Authoritah. I bet it was my old mate Simon Clonby, the bog trotting rogue.

the legend lives on

Er.....well try this. Kill them all first, possibly by fucking them to death. Make a huge pile of the corpses near Chez Wizard, then phone the council complaining of a slag heap that's appeared in your neighbourhood. Offer to landscape it and turn it into a children's play area for 1 million pounds. Take the money and run off with the few remaining bitches who escaped the initial cull.

Oi Wizzle, I've got a great idea for disposing of all the scrubbers and cheap sluts in your neighbourhood and it will earn you some money

and I have his cock

Yeah but Sean Walsh's girlfriend is a victim Grotty! Victim of the biggest overbite in Christendom. Her top nashers have more reach than a croupier's rake.

no, but I'm white and elegant

double fuck!

I'm going to try and fuck swans. Theoretically it must be possible, because male swans do it and I'm of a similar build.

fuck!

He needs to concentrate more and stop gassing about his problems

genius CB! All I'd come up with was "Daleks for your Cunt"

I think the new Doctor Who could do a nice line in mini Dalek vibrators. They already have nobbly bits on and the eye stalk could probably do some clit work. What shall we call them?

Our very own levantine lothario, Frank, enjoys nothing more than a bit of reptile on reptile action Authoritah